When No One Is Watching
by Zippy and Chunks
Summary: The Justice League has some relationship issues due to: Sexual Tension. Oh yeah. Accents imitated poorly. Joint fic with ZippyDragon43 and ChunkyMunky241.
1. Happy Juice and Karaoke Night

When No One Is Watching  
  
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Chapter one: Happy Juice and Karaoke Night.  
  
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A/N: hey hey! This is a joint effort between Chunkymunky241 and Zippydragon*43, so it will show up in both of our profile thingiemawhatsits. Review on BOTH, if you have the time. THANKIES!!!! We don't know if this will have the same story id or whatever, but if you like, bookmark one or the other and we will be HAPPIE!!!! ^_^ Anyways, this story is gonna be Cartoon Network Justice League, not direct comic book kind. And no "Superfriends" funkiness. What the hell is up with the Wonder Twins? Nevermind, don't wanna know. Kay, none of the characters know anyone else's secret identities. J'Onn J'Onzz is the same person as Martian Manhunter, Diana is the same person as Wonder Woman. In their space station, they have beds and stuff, but they don't live there all the time. Like firestations..READ ON, And ZIPPY LOVES YOU!!! ( oh. Chunks loves you too. Or so she says)  
  
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In a shady corner of Metropolis, bad crap was goin' down. In a run down looking bar with a surprising amount of business and a thick atmosphere of cigarette smoke and hormones, we find our heroes.  
  
"Hey baby! Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cuz you look like an angel to me!" said an enthusiastic drunk to a certain Thanagarian.  
  
"AAAHHH!!!" Hawkgirl gave her battle cry and swung her mace. It connected directly with the poor drunk's head and he went flying off into a corner (where no one found him until the next morning).  
  
"Dammit, Hawkgirl, can't we take you anywhere?" complained a tall brunette, walking over in what seemed to be very patriotic underwear.  
  
"Yeah well. He asked if I was an angel. Why do they always say that?"  
  
"I'm gonna go with the 'you have wings' idea."  
  
"Guys are so uncreative. And stupid," moaned Hawkgirl.  
  
"They disgust me sometimes," agreed Wonder Woman.  
  
"What about Batman?"  
  
=Smack= (upside Hawkgirl's head)  
  
Diana lunged for Hawkgirl, screeching, "YOU LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS!! HE IS DIFFERENT!!!"  
  
As a catfight began between the two super-females, A gleeful looking guy in tight red spandex sat spinning on a barstool. He muttered to himself, "What? Does the guy have *special needs* or something?"  
  
Three pairs of eyes swivelled over to his direction. Two from the catfight, one emanating from the shadows. All had anger in the glance.  
  
"What? It was just a question."  
  
Hawkgirl stopped fighting with Diana to give the speaker, Flash, a sharp whack on the head. "YOU ASS!! IT WASN'T YOUR CONVERSATION!!!"  
  
As she started to swing again, he threw up his hands in a surrendering gesture and quickly said, "Hey! Hey! Sorry! My bad. I take it all back." Flash then signalled to the waiter. "Hey, can I get a Bud and a Screwdriver down here?" He then turned to Hawkgirl, "Yeah, a Screwdriver is also known as 'Happy Juice'. I'm thinking that you need some." She turned away, but she looked a bit more calmed down.  
  
Sitting at another part of the bar table, The Man of Steel nursed his Shirley Temple. He had long ago decided to abstain from alcohol, knowing that a drunken Kryptonian was a VERY BAD THING. A tap on the shoulder turned him around to face the solemn green face of J'Onn J'Onzz. Superman politely offered to buy him a drink.  
  
"No thank you. Alcoholic beverages do abnormal things to my digestive system."  
  
"Fair enough. I won't go into it." Superman commented as the more 'ethnic' member of the Justice League walked down to the end of the bar, his stainless black spandex squeaking as he went.  
  
The man otherwise known as Green Lantern continued to stride until he stood next to the Flash. Pausing, he whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "I don't think it's a good idea to get Birdbrain drunk."  
  
A slurred "I heard that" came from the slumped figure on the bar table.  
  
"We'll see, GL," Flash smiled impishly.  
  
Green Lantern raised an eyebrow and wisely said nothing. Instead, he continued walking down the length of the bar. He finally stopped next to Diana and The Dark Knight. "So, Batman, been fighting any crime over in Gotham?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yeah . . . so . . . um . . . do you come to bars often?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So, why did you come this time?"  
  
"Don't ask."  
  
"Right then. I'm just gonna go sit over there . . . by myself . . . alone . . . not . . . by . . . you . . . yeah . . ." GL's voice trailed off as he headed for a small booth. Batman, unmoved by the other man's unease, began to speak to Wonder Woman in a hushed tone. Superman looked over at the pair, grimacing when Diana giggled.  
  
Martian Manhunter turned to the Man of Steel and said sagely, "Jealousy is a perfectly natural human emotion."  
  
"Too bad I'm not human."  
  
"Ah, yes. Well, in any case, I'm sure Lois understands."  
  
"How did you know about that?!?!" Superman tried to stifle a yell of surprise. He sat gaping at J'onn.  
  
"Telepathy. Duh," he replied in monotone.  
  
"Hmm . . . forgot about that. Hey, could you use that trick to tell me what Diana is thinking?"  
  
"I would, but I fear that the shock would kill you. Her thoughts are . . . quite graphic . . ."  
  
"Damn."  
  
Just at that moment, the bartender walked out, clapped his hands, and announced, "Okay peepo . . . Tonigh isa Karaoke Nigh . . . Gitta pah-nah . . . and go tu a mica-rapho. Yoo picka song. Yoo tell me wha you wann!"  
  
(A/N: no, that is not just bad spelling. Think "fresh-off-the-boat" Asian voice. No offence to fresh-off-the-boat Asians.)  
  
Green Lantern grimaced at the sound of "karaoke." It just brought back bad memories of fish sticks and even worse ones involving a microphone and a can of whipped cream. But he really didn't want to think about that. Feeling like a loner, he slunk out of a back exit, but not before giving a longing glance at Hawkgirl, and a bit of a glower at Flash. He headed toward a McDonald's. He needed McNuggets. Badly. He needed them the way a crack addict needs . . . crack. Once he had his CrackNuggets, he headed back to The Watchtower, the Justice League space station.  
  
Meanwhile, back at the bar, Flash poked the limp form of Hawkgirl. "Hey, you wanna-"  
  
"No."  
  
"Even just to-"  
  
"No."  
  
"So you don't even want to-"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay . . . So, about those wings of yours . . . Do you have them when you are born, or do they come later on, like puberty?"  
  
"You are a sick and twisted little man."  
  
"Well, maybe so. But then, are they removable?"  
  
"Eeww . . . No."  
  
"So, how do you . . . you know . . . I mean, doesn't that get in the way? Or are you just always on top?"  
  
" . . ."  
  
"Come on, I'm just curious. Do they act as pillows or something?"  
  
"You sick fuck."  
  
"Hey, if you aren't willing to tell me, I'll be happy to find out on my own."  
  
=WHACK=  
  
And Flash went down and out courtesy of The Big Mace From Hell owned by Hawkgirl.  
  
Meanwhile, Superman was up on the Karaoke stand. Martian Manhunter was next to him, looking irritated. They were singing the ever popular song, "Who let the dogs out." Superman was really into it, singing all of the lyrics like he wrote the song, but J'onn never broke a monotone.  
  
"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!"  
  
"Who. Who. Who. Who."  
  
"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!?!"  
  
"Who. Who. Who. Who indeed."  
  
A cry from the audience rang out, "THE GREEN GUY IS HOT!!!"  
  
A blonde girl ran out of the bar all of a sudden. (random Amanda. Woo hoo!)  
  
The shout did not bother Superman and his 'hot' backup singer. They kept going. It was bad. The sound was frightful enough to wake up Flash. He sat up with a bolt. From his place on the floor (by Hawkgirl's feet . . . tee hee . . .) he could see the Thanagarian beauty taking shots of Everclear. (A/N: that shit will knock you on your ass faster than a rude comment to an Amazon) He was alert to know that too much alcohol could kill her, and he quickly stood up and prevented her from taking any more.  
  
"Hey!" she protested as he swiped the shot glass from her hand, "That's mine!!"  
  
"Not anymore it isn't," he replied calmly. Hawkgirl tried to get the glass back, but Flash's already unbeatable reflexes were too much for the drunken bird-woman. She made another futile swipe and nearly fell out off the barstool onto Flash's lap. He caught her before she fell.  
  
J'Onn J'Onzz, who had given up on karaoke and was leaving the bar, gave him a questioning glance and said, "Why are you touching her breasts?"  
  
"Uh, she fell, and I caught her, and, she just, landed, and they just, I didn't do it on purpose I swear I mean they just jumped out at me and stuff and yeah . . ." Flash's voice trailed off. He tried to shake Hawkgirl, but she had passed out in his arms (which he moved around her . . .) and wasn't exactly responsive. Over came Superman, who, having lost his singing homie, also gave up the karaoke.  
  
"Goodness, Flash, I didn't know you and Hawkgirl were that close," he commented dryly.  
  
"Uh, yeah . . . Did you see where J'onn went?"  
  
"Yes, I believe he just flew back to The Watchtower. Oh no. We forgot to leave someone up there . . ." Superman started to swear, and Flash's jaw dropped . . . (I mean, come on, who hears Superman cuss . . .?) Superman then said he had to leave, ran outside, and vaulted into the air.  
  
Flash raised an eyebrow and said sarcastically, "Up, up and away . . ." He picked Hawkgirl up in both his arms hero style, as all superheroes do (and firemen, I guess . . .) and looked around for any sign of the other JLA members. He couldn't see Green Lantern, and guessed that he had left the bar as well. Flash sighed. He didn't blame him. Here he was, a superhero, in a run-down bar, holding a passed out supermodel-ish superwoman, with no way of getting her home. And it was three in the morning, meaning that the bar was, in fact, closing.  
  
"Dammit. Where are Batman and Princess Amazon? Typical of them to walk out and leave me alone. This is so bogus." He looked around again and spied the two strolling towards the exit. "Hey, you guys, can you take me to the space station with you?"  
  
"No. We don't have room for you," Batman ground out stoically.  
  
"Jeez, you don't have to be such a dick," Flash whined.  
  
Batman growled.  
  
"Some men are so rude," Diana commented.  
  
"Oh go cry about it in your Invisible Jet Princess star-spangled-undies-in- a-bunch." Flash replied, more than a little bit irritated. He then proceeded to stick out his tongue.  
  
Wonder Woman stared at the ground a bit self-consciously and muttered, "I would, but I can't find it. I don't remember where I parked it . . ." The Dark Knight and his consort sped towards the exit and the awaiting Batplane.  
  
Leaving Flash alone with the unconscious Hawkgirl. Dammit. For him. I guess. Whatever. He nudged the sleeping form in a vain attempt to awake her. "Hey, come on babe, wake up. You have to fly us to The Watchtower . . . come on . . ." He shook her again.  
  
She snuggled close into his chest, making him feel *just a tad* uncomfortable and muttered, "Operation . . . minty . . . hippo . . ."  
  
" . . . right. I guess that's a no on the flying thing." He sighed again, "Well, I guess I could take her to Central City. Call for help or something. Well, let's get going then." He exited the bar and went as fast as he dared. He decided that he really didn't want to wake up Hawkgirl, as she would probably be cranky, and her mace still swung ominously from her hip. He was at a good pace, when, as he was leaving the parking lot, he saw moonlight glinting on something directly in front of him. He tried to spin around to avoid it, but instead he just ran his side onto it. He was careful enough that Hawkgirl was not hurt. Falling to the ground with the unconscious body on top of him, he let out a muffled "My hip . . ." He looked up onto the slightly gleaming surface above him, and saw the faint outline of a ship. " Holy concealed aircraft, Batman" he muttered to no one in particular, especially since the Bat was long gone.  
  
A spark of intelligence flickered from the depths of his mind as he realized that he had, indeed, found Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet.  
  
"SWEET!!!" he yelled. Hawkgirl groaned as she made a weak attempt of slapping his head. Flash laid her gently on the ground as he felt the hull for a door hatch. Feeling around with his fingers, he opened up the door. It was a bit dark, but he couldn't see through to the outside, so he figured that the invisibility only pertained to the outside. Flash quickly, but delicately, brought Hawkgirl inside and secured her to a chair. Checking out the controls, which were NOT invisible or even transparent (thankfully), he prepared for liftoff.  
  
"Damn. No keys," he complained, and proceeded to hot-wire Diana's plane. After a few minutes and sparked fingers, he got it started. The craft hovered effortlessly and then slowly towards the Justice League space station.  
  
"Lucky that I kinda know how to pilot the Javelin," he commented, again, to no one in particular. As he neared the station, he noticed that there was, thankfully, room for more than one plane in the docking bay. He glanced around and noticed that the Batplane was parked near the Javelin. He parked his borrowed ship, albeit a bit roughly. Then, taking the inebriated Hawkgirl into his arms again, he strode out into the docking bay. He managed to find his way to the bridge, where a couple other JLAers were resting. Hawkgirl seemed to regain at least a semblance of consciousness. Flash helped her to her feet, and Green Lantern went over to help.  
  
The wingéd one stumbled over and wrapped her arms around GL. Flash's eyes started to take on a bit of a jealous appearance, while GL's were just shocked. He managed to peel her off, but not before she planted a kiss, directly on the lips. He turned an interesting shade of maroon. Flash quickly stepped over and wrapped a possessive arm around her.  
  
"Dude, GL, I did *not* drag her all this way just for you to get jiggy with her." He then stalked off to Hawkgirl's bedroom and locked her inside. He made sure to take away the mace, because she was gonna have one HELL of a hangover, and he really didn't think she should be handling weapons then.  
  
Back on the bridge, poor Green Lantern was feeling overwhelmed by his conflicting emotions. On the one hand, he had his duty, and on the other, his feelings for Hawkgirl. He decided to go sleep off the confusion, and he headed to his room.  
  
Flash was also feeling conflicted. His flirt-with-every-girl-he-sees tactic had always worked in the past, but for some reason, it never worked on HER. The one that he REALLY wanted it to work on. Well, it never worked on Diana either, or on her Amazons, but, they were Amazons. Completely different from Thanagarians. Dammit. And he had been SO tempted tonight, when she was vulnerable. But he just couldn't. Not with HER. It wouldn't be right. Dammit. His morals had never bothered him before.  
  
And no one had seen Batman or Diana for hours.  
  
=END CHAPTER 1=  
  
A/N: tee hee . . . Flash and Green Lantern have some conflicts, eh? I sense an ass whooping coming on . . . NEXT EPISODE: Where did Batman and Diana go, who left the fish sticks in the freezer, and WHO THE HELL SLEPT WITH HAWKGIRL?? 'Til next time, DC beats Marvel anyday!! (get asses kicked by random Amanda and her Spiderman) . . . we're sorry, okay?! We didn't mean it, really!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! thankies! 


	2. So, How Did You Sleep?

Chapter 2: So, How Did You Sleep?  
  
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A/N: oh yeah. Chunks is chunking Zippy is zipping, and Ein is a 'shroom happy puppy. He is bouncing all over the living room. Every time he hits the ground, he makes a squeaky sound like a rubber duckie. ANYWAYS . . . onward! (Chunks says tally ho. She's British. Yeah . . .)  
  
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Martian Manhunter (J'Onn J'Onzz) and Flash (fastest man alive) were standing on the bridge of The Watchtower (space station. In space. Above Earth) staring at each other (if continued too long it gets very boring). The air was ripe with unanswered questions that neither wanted to ask. Or answer, for that matter. So, they just . . . stared.  
  
"Well . . ." said Flash.  
  
"Well indeed," replied J'Onn.  
  
"So."  
  
"So."  
  
"I'm going to bed."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Night JJ."  
  
"Don't call me JJ."  
  
"Okay . . ." and off went Flash, *faster than lighting.*  
  
"Yes," said the Martian, and he went to bed as well.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE: wherever the Hell Batman and Diana are.  
  
"Ow."  
  
"This plastic is chafing."  
  
"Wrong circle."  
  
"I can't reach . . ."  
  
"Don't put your hand there!"  
  
"Sorry. It slipped."  
  
"Well if you would take off that damn cape, this might be easier."  
  
"The cape stays."  
  
"Well how about the mask?"  
  
"The mask stays."  
  
"WHY do you always insist on wearing that whenever we do this?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"I'm falling!!!"  
  
"I couldn't tell. I am on top of you."  
  
"Yeah, and I think one of your utilities is poking me."  
  
"Okay . . . left hand green."  
  
Ahhh . . . Twister. The *hot spot.* All of you are perverts. Yeah, yeah, we know. The game of Twister was getting too complicated, and so the Dark Knight and Princess of Themyscira decided to stop. They rolled up the mat and put it away. It just so happened that this game of Twister was being played in Batman's bedroom. The place everyone was thinking to look for the *missing* two, but no one dared. To put it simply, the other Leaguers were kind of scared of him, and his self-sufficient habits. Even his room reflected his reclusive aura. As he was "The Bat," the lights in his room were always at a romantic low. The Bat didn't just set the mood..he lived it. Hell yeah.  
  
=romantic interlude where ChunkyMunky241 shoves Zippy out of the chair and assumes control over the keyboard=  
  
Diana took the Twister box away from Batman, gently offering to put it away in the nearby closet. He said nothing, but looked at her retreating form in that strange ethereal lighting one can only see from space. The light from an infinite amount of stars, one Earth, and one moon filtered in through the window on the other side of the room, reflecting off her exposed shoulders, the contrast between them and her dark hair making her skin seem almost milky in texture. She extended her arms upward, placing the box on an upper shelf, only to sense a presence directly behind her. Turning her head, she was quite surprised when she felt warm lips crush against hers.  
  
She was even more surprised to find that she liked it.  
  
His gloved hand came up upon her shoulder, brushing her soft hair away. She turned around fully, only stopping once to breathe before she returned the kiss. Brushing her fingers lightly against the lower, unmasked portion of his face, she decided that if mask on was what he wanted, then it was fine with her. He broke away tenderly from her, as though he had heard her thoughts, and smiled into her slowly opening eyes.  
  
"Apparently the Princess of the Amazons has other special talents."  
  
She looked at him roguishly. "I'm a fast learner."  
  
He smiled again and closed the gap between them once more. Starting from her lips he traced a path down her jawline with his own, the trail extending to her delicate throat. Infused, her hands, seemingly of their own volition, swept across his broad chest before descending downward, passing his strong abdominal muscles and ending their trek with an insistent tug on the utility belt.  
  
Suddenly stopped by his hand, Diana looked back up into the concealed eyes of the man known as the Dark Knight, wondering if she had done something wrong. A look of nervous apprehension crossed his face, as though he were worried about what she would think. Strange, he had never seemed to care what other people thought before. What made her so special?  
  
"Wait," he said, still grasping her wrist. "There's something I need to show you first."  
  
Before she could respond, he reached up his hand to his face, pulling back the dark cowl.  
  
"My name is Bruce Wayne."  
  
And then she kissed him.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
=Zippy whacks Chunks with THE FRYING PAN FROM HELL on loan from Chichi . . . and assumes control of the keyboard.=  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN SUPERMAN'S BEDROOM: around midnight.  
  
=Ring= =Ring= =Rin--  
  
"Hello? . . . I told you not to call me here . . . No . . . No! . . . I swear! I don't have a thing for her! . . . No, it's a business relationship, that's all! . . . No, I'm not patronizing you just because you are a woman . . . I would never patronize you, even if you were a guy . . . No I don't like men! . . . That's disgusting . . . No I don't want to try it! . . . Well, I was out this evening . . . NO! not with another date! I would never cheat on you . . . we went to a bar . . . IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK . . . Lois . . . Lois . . . Lois . . . no, we just sang . . . Karaoke . . . it's very popular . . . yes, we CAN try it sometime . . . Lois . . . I swear . . . Lois . . . no, I'll be in tomorrow . . . I'll see you then . . . Love you too . . . Goodbye."  
  
Superman mumbled to himself as he climbed back into bed, "I hope Lois isn't doing pot because she is getting awfully paranoid."  
  
THE NEXT MORNING: In the Watchtower Living Room (Chunks: they have a living room? Zippy: they do now . . .)  
  
"I will trade you my Bulbasaur, Pikachu, and Squirtle for your Charizard."  
  
"Hmm . . . no deal. Too risky."  
  
"Fine. I'll throw in my Psyduck."  
  
"You have got to be joking."  
  
"DAMMIT. Fine. Will you accept if I add holographic Jigglypuff?"  
  
"You have yourself a deal." Martian Manhunter surrendered his Charizard and accepted 5 new cards. Unbeknownst to many, J'Onn and Flash were avid Pokémon enthusiasts. They traded frequently, with Flash usually getting the worst end of the deal. All he had left was Chancy and now Charizard.  
  
"Hawkgirl is sleeping rather late this morning. She is usually up with the sun," commented J'Onn.  
  
"Yeah, well, with the hangover that she is gonna have," Flash whistled. "I really don't want to be in her line of fire. I mean, she is completely hot, but everyone knows her temper. Good thing I hid the mace."  
  
"I have a suspicion that that will further displease her."  
  
"No . . . really? But at least she won't have something to hit me with."  
  
"There are always her fists."  
  
"Dammit," Flash frowned, not having thought about that. "Oh, hey GL. Nice hair," he said, turning to greet the newcomer, whose hair seemed to have been slept on the wrong way.  
  
Green Lantern scowled and mumbled something incoherent.  
  
"Yeah, me too. Hey, nice boxers. Green is a nice color on you."  
  
GL grunted acknowledgement.  
  
"So, how did you sleep last night?"  
  
Another grunt.  
  
"That good, huh? Sweet. Hey, someone needs to get some milk because I used the last of it on my Count Chocula. You know, we need to have a cereal featuring us. Something like, 'Flash Puffs,' or 'Rice Flashbies,' or maybe 'Cocoa Flash.' Something cool like that, you know?"  
  
GL didn't even say anything. He just walked over to the fridge and took a big swill of OJ. Right out of the carton. Eeww . . . JUST THEN, Superman walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Dammit, GL, that was my juice! Use a glass."  
  
Another grunt.  
  
"And for god's sake, put some pants on. You never know when the ladies will be up. (A/N: oh, we don't think they will be up for a while.)  
  
LATER, IN HAWKGIRL'S BEDROOM:  
  
Hawkgirl woke up slowly, as if coming out of a very pleasant dream. She stretched out her wings under the covers of her bed and sighed contentedly. "Man, I feel surprisingly good today. I thought I would have a bitch of a hangover, but I actually feel quite nice . . . I usually only feel this nice after I hav-" she broke off with a start. She felt her nose and forehead, "Where is my mask??" and then looked under the covers at . . . er . . . herself. Her eyes very wide, she looked over the side of the bed at her hastily thrown clothes.  
  
"Oh shit."  
  
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NEXT TIME: So, who DID Hawkgirl get jiggy with? Hmm . . . And don't worry, it won't be something bad. I promise that she will vaguely remember it. Just not who. Oops. She should really stop drinking. Will Green Lantern EVER put clothes back on? Okay, and I was just wondering . . . do they wear underwear under their spandex and stuff? Or are those outfits like kilts or something . . . Nevermind. REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!! And, sorrie the chapter is so short. ZIPPY LOVES YOU!!!!! (Chunks would say she loves you, but she's in the bathroom) 


	3. DBZ with a Side of Tartar Sauce

Chapter 3: DBZ with A Side of Tartar Sauce  
  
A/N: EIN!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!! NO MORE MUSHROOMS!!!!!! ED, WILL YOU HELP US PLEASE?!?!?! Blast. Why do we even bother? =squeak= =squeak= Dammit. He got into the 'shrooms. We would try to take them away, but Ein is too fast for us. Ed has decided that she wants melons, Faye is swimming in the bathroom, Spike is retardedly climbing a stair (just one), and Jet is talking to his trees. Damn this ship. CHUNKS!!!!!! Where did all the food go?  
  
Chunks: um, Faye ate it all. But it was kind of nasty . . . why do you think she is spending so much time in the bathroom . . .?  
  
Zippy: umm . . . right . . . So, about this story, Batman just got his freak on with Wonder Woman, Pokémon is popular, and Hawkgirl was REALLY drunk last night. (Dude, where's my car: Jesse: "Dude, How drunk were we last night?" Chester: "Shibby.") So . . . yes.  
  
Chunks: You know, we forgot a disclaimer . . .  
  
Zippy: Oops.  
  
Chunks: Do we own Justice League or any of the random crap we've plagiarized in this story?  
  
Zippy: No.  
  
Chunks: not even-  
  
Zippy: No.  
  
Chunks: So we don't-  
  
Zippy: No. But we have now disclaimed. Sweet.  
  
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After FINALLY putting on clothes, Green Lantern headed back to the living room. He slumped down on one of the sofas and closed his eyes. He could still hear Flash and Superman playing video games, but he tried to block that out. His thoughts drifted back to the previous evening. What on earth was Flash thinking, being so possessive of Hawkgirl? He wasn't dating her, but then, neither was he . . . but . . . GL wanted to . . . badly. He viewed her as nearly perfect. Beautiful, confident, strong . . . but, at times, a bit stubborn and temperamental. Oh well. Maybe she would change . . .  
  
"Superman, I did advise you to not pick the 'Vegeta' character," commented J'Onn.  
  
Superman wrinkled his forehead in concentration as he played the DBZ game on their Gamecube. He replied, "But the hair! It was so cool."  
  
Flash frantically pushed buttons, and gave out a gleeful, "Kamehameha!! I am SO beating your ass! I am Son Goku. Hear me roar!"  
  
Martian Manhunter wondered how humans had lasted this long.  
  
"BIG BANG ATTACK!!! . . . =a pause= . . . aww Dammit!! Why does that never work?!?!"  
  
J'Onn just sighed.  
  
Meanwhile . . . in Batman's room (tee hee)  
  
Wonder Woman looking in the mirror, making a final adjustment as she put her tiara back on. She looked over at the still-sleeping form of Batm-no, she knew his name. Bruce. Bruce Wayne. She smiled to herself. He trusted her. No one had really ever done that before. Her sisters on Themyscira were trusting, but then, there had never been any reason to not be. For a moment, she wondered what her mother would think of it all. Her, and Bruce, and their relationship. But she shrugged the thought away with the knowledge of her own independence. Besides, her own mother HAD been in an odd relationship with the God of Hell . . . so, she figured she was okay. Honestly, Batman isn't *that* bad. She broke out of her reverie when he turned over in bed and rustled the sheets. One eye opened, then the other when he saw her. She went over to the side of the bed and knelt down.  
  
"Morning," he murmured, and smiled up at her.  
  
She returned the smile and said, "How did you sleep?"  
  
"Well, there was a beautiful woman that kept distracting me. Other than that, it was great." He chuckled.  
  
She gave him a playful shove.  
  
"Just kidding. What time is it?"  
  
"Around nine thirty."  
  
He groaned. "Crap," he said, "I need to get home." He rolled to the other side of the bed and proceeded to pull on his usual all-black uniform. As he slipped on his boots, he turned to look at her. There was a catch in his breath as he saw the way the light shone through the window behind her, framing her face. The two stood up and walked towards the door. He drew the cowl over his head as he stepped through the exit. The mask was back, the walls were up, and she said goodbye.  
  
MEANWHILE: (again . . . we know, we know.)  
  
Hawkgirl was now very pissed. She was tearing apart her room, inch by inch. The contents of her closet were on the floor, and all the drawers in her room had been overturned. Most of the breakable items in her room had been, well, broken, and the surviving things probably wouldn't last long. Her bed had been overturned, and the sheets hung ragged off a chair. She started to fume, and one could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears. Her mace was missing, and she would do anything short of murder to get it back. Scratch that. Murder really didn't sound that bad at this point. Also, her hangover was now raging, and she had a pounding headache that felt like it was gouging out her eyes from behind. She stomped towards her door.  
  
The door opened with a =whoosh= and she stormed down the corridor towards the kitchen. Once there, she banged open the fridge door, pulled out a beer, and clanged it on the table. She then nearly ripped off a cabinet door as she grabbed the aspirin. Taking two out, she nearly chucked them in her mouth, popped open the beer can, and chugged the whole thing.  
  
"Rough morning?" asked Martian Manhunter dryly, as he flipped an omelette.  
  
Her only response was a glare as she then stalked off to the living room. Superman had left shortly before, as he needed to return to guarding Metropolis. Flash, smirking into a mirror while arranging the stylish lightning doo-hickies on his head, was preparing to return to Central City to resume his own duties, but stopped when he saw Hawkgirl sitting in the living room. He sat down next to her on the sofa and attempted to strike up some friendly conversation.  
  
"So, how did you sleep?"  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
" . . ." he blinked. "Riiight. Well, my night was good. This morning I beat Superman."  
  
"You beat up Superman?" questioned Hawkgirl, not really believing him.  
  
"No! No, I beat him at video games."  
  
"Wow, what a talent," she drawled, looking oh-so-impressed.  
  
"I like to think so," he said. Flash was obviously one of those a-legend-in- his-own-mind types.  
  
"Well, I'm sure someone else will too." She had to give a smile. Flash was just someone that made you feel better just by being around. His energetic, happy-go-lucky personality just seemed to rub off on almost anyone he was near, if they stuck around long enough. She would never admit that, though. She would rather be boiled in hot oil while her feathers were plucked one by one by a fingerless midget. (no offence to fingerless midgets.)  
  
Flash noticed the smile, and the thought dawned on him that she really looked beautiful when she smiled. Not wanting to ruin her moment, he decided to leave before he said something stupid, which he was fairly sure would be coming up soon. "So, I'll just be going then, Hawkgirl. I'll see you in a couple days . . . yeah . . . a city to protect and everything . . . so . . ."  
  
Hawkgirl was about to say goodbye when she remembered one of the reasons for her discomfort. "Have you seen my mace? It's gone missing, and I feel naked without it."  
  
Flash looked decidedly uncomfortable. He then played it off by saying, "Oh, yeah! When I took you too your bedroom last night, I forgot to bring up your mace. Sorry 'bout that! It's on the table over there. Well, I'm off. See ya, Babe!" And off went Flash.  
  
Hawkgirl frowned a little bit at the name, but brightened up when she saw her mace, right where Flash said it would be. She bounded over to it, feeling reassured by its strength. She could feel the faint rumble of Flash taking off from the docking bay. Hold on, taking off? She flew down to the bay (all corridors being just wide enough to accommodate her wingspan, haha) to see. She couldn't see a ship other than the Javelin, but she heard it. She saw the typical red glow of a jet engine, and there were some glints and shimmers in front of it. "An invisible jet?" She wondered to herself, as the jet shot out into space and off to earth. Hawkgirl made her way back to the living quarters, suddenly feeling a little lonely. She stopped abruptly.  
  
"Wait, he carried me to my room?"  
  
J'Onn was serving up omelettes to Diana and Green Lantern. They all looked up when Hawkgirl entered the room. J'Onn politely offered her an omelette.  
  
"Um, no. I'm not really into cannibalism. But thanks." She sat down in front of the television and began flipping through. The other three people in the room resumed eating.  
  
=Chunks Final Flashes Zippy out of the chair and assumes control of the keyboard=  
  
A COUPLE HOURS LATER: still in the living room  
  
"Got any queens, J'Onn?" Green Lantern asked.  
  
"Go fish. Do you have any twos in your hand, Hawkgirl?"  
  
"Dammit!" she growled as she chucked three cards in his direction, each of which he caught deftly. (A/N: they're playing where you have to get all four cards for a match, not just two, okay?)  
  
"Lantern," J'Onn continued on his winning streak, "do you perchance have any nines?"  
  
"You're using one of your freaky powers to see through the cards, aren't you?" GL scowled.  
  
The Martian Manhunter said nothing, but calmly awaited the two cards Green Lantern would be handing him. After a small, old western-like stare down, Lantern pushed the nines across the table. J'Onn proceeded to stack them neatly in his ever-growing pile.  
  
Wonder Woman walked in, rearranged a picture frame, looked around for a second, and quickly walked back out. The three at the table chose to ignore it.  
  
"Back to you, Hawkgirl," J'Onn continued. "Do you have any sevens?"  
  
"This is pissing me off," she handed another card to the Martian.  
  
Before J'Onn could take another card from him, Green Lantern slapped his cards on the table and stood up. "I'm sick of this. I want fishsticks," he said, and exited the room.  
  
Both the Martian and the Thanagarian blinked, confused. "I'll play you Crazy Eights, J'Onn," Hawkgirl challenged, recovering quickly.  
  
"Bring it."  
  
Wonder Woman walked in, picked up a glass, looked around for a second, and quickly walked back out. Hawkgirl and Manhunter followed her with their eyes, but still said nothing.  
  
IN THE KITCHEN  
  
GL leaned down and opened the icebox, pulling out a pack of frozen fishsticks, a little annoyed that the light inside kept blinking on and off. Placing them in the microwave, he pondered as the bright numbers on the timing screen blipped from one to the next.  
  
What was Flash thinking? He had seen him talking to Hawkgirl earlier, and though feeling a little guilty for spying, could not help the feeling of jealousy that was creeping up his spine. He had always had his eye on Hawkgirl, ever since he had met her. Her poise, her confidence, her strength . . . they all seemed to complement his own. Sure they fought, but it was almost routine by now. Not to mention that every time they went into their little arguments, GL could not help but stare at the inner fire that burned in her eyes, the tight frown that would grace her lips, and the way her wings would bristle every time she countered. Each of these actions was sharp, angry, commanding, and just waiting to be tamed.  
  
He wanted to be the tamer.  
  
The telltale ring of the microwave signalled that his fishsticks were done and he picked up the plate, sitting down and munching on the flaky snack food. Still contemplating, he wondered if Hawkgirl would ever reciprocate these feelings for him. They had fought crime together for a while now, but their relationship had never been more that strictly business. Sure, they had come close to being friends on many occasions, but those were few and in-between. He set down his fifth fishstick; his bitter thoughts were making him lose his appetite.  
  
=Zippy beats Chunks into unconsciousness with her Harry Potter broomstick and assumes control of the keyboard=  
  
"HEY!!! GL!!!! I NEED YOU OUT HERE!!!" called an angry Hawkgirl.  
  
Lantern broke from his reverie and wandered out to the living room. Hawkgirl was batting furiously at J'Onn, though he had phased out enough that her mace blows simply passed through him. GL raised and eyebrow and said, "He won again, didn't he?"  
  
"YOU STUPID DUMB SHIT GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER!!!" screeched the Thanagarian. (p.s.: thank you Offspring)  
  
J'Onn phased back briefly to say, "That was impressive. I didn't know words could be used like that."  
  
Another screech and swing by Hawkgirl.  
  
Lantern used his ring to stop her mace mid-swipe. "Hawkgirl, it IS just a game."  
  
"Fuck. I know. But he keeps using the telepathy thing to find out what my cards are. DAMN HIM!! DAMMIT!!!" she cried out once more before storming off to her bedroom.  
  
"Ah, females. I find mating practices amongst your kind most invigorating."  
  
"You think card games are mating practices? Freaky. Well, I take it she was in a bad mood," remarked Green Lantern.  
  
"So it would seem. But there-" The Martian broke off as Wonder Woman walked in, put down a glass, walked to a window and scraped some dirt off with her thumbnail. She then looked around for a second and quickly walked back out.  
  
"Okay, WHAT is up with her?" questioned Lantern.  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
HAWKGIRL'S ROOM (Zippy: but we don't even know what Hawkgirl's room looks like . . . Chunks: that's never stopped us before . . .)  
  
Hawkgirl lay in bed, her wings providing extra cushioning as she stared at the ceiling, picking out the fine lines in her Invader Zim poster. He was standing proudly on a conquered Earth, with the ever-faithful Gir robot by his side. She sighed, pondering the previous night's events. Zim at least was trying to bring honour to his planet. What honour had she brought to Thanagar? Yes, her people would be VERY pleased that she could get drunk, pass out, and sleep with someone whose face she didn't remember. She vaguely remembered the act, which actually had been pretty good, but what really bothered her was that no one had said anything about it all day. Hawkgirl found that she didn't regret sleeping with the person, but the memory brought back other, more painful ones that she did not wish to remember at this period in time.  
  
Her thoughts were brought back to the dilemma at hand. Who had she been around; who on the station might have done that with her? She felt a shock as she remembered a few minutes from the night before. She had kissed Green Lantern! She groaned as she tried to remember what she might have done next.  
  
**Okay, Okay, don't panic, Hawkgirl! Don't panic!** she panicked in her mind. **Maybe it wasn't GL. There were others on the ship, right? Right. Okay, I think Batman was here . . . and J'Onn, Superman, and Flash . . . Oh yeah, like that's any better!** she snorted. **Every fucking person in the League was here! For all I know, I could have slept with Diana! Eww . . .**  
  
She raked a hand through her unmasked hair in an irritated manner. Despite her exceptional detective and observational skills, she was completely stumped on this case. She ran through the possible *suspects* in her mind again (excluding Diana, for obvious reasons). Green Lantern, J'Onn, Superman, Batman, Flash . . .  
  
"What a minute, he carried me to my room?"  
  
=end chapter three=  
  
Chunks: (singing) To resist is to piss in the wind! Any one who does will end up smelling! Knowing this, why do I defy?! 'Cause my inner voice is yelling!  
  
Zippy: er . . . riiiiight . . .  
  
Chunks: (still singing) So when I make me, I won't be papier-mâché! And if I fuck me, I'll fuck me in my own way!!  
  
Zippy: Dude, that's not even the same song . . . you'll have to excuse Chunks. She's been a bit off since the 'shrooms incident.  
  
Chunks: Resist and multiply!!  
  
Zippy: see what I mean? Anywho . . . the question still remains: Who the hell slept with Hawkgirl?!! Will we find out next time? Maybe . . . but we're not telling!  
  
Chunks: we aren't?  
  
Zippy: No. Go chase Ein or something.  
  
Chunks: 'kay!  
  
Zippy: Anyways . . . NEXT EPISODE: we delve into the inner mysteries of the Watchtower, finding out just what makes these relationships tick . . . and it's all told from the point of view of . . . well, you'll see. Until next time, ZIPPY LOVES YOU!  
  
Chunks: ammph thi luft oo thuu!  
  
Zippy: DAMMIT CHUNKS!! STOP EATING THE 'SHROOMS!  
  
Ein: =squeak= =squeak=  
  
DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!!!! 


	4. It's Not Easy Being Green

Chapter 4: It's Not Easy Being Green  
  
A/N: Chunks here! Finally cut back on the 'shrooms, but I seem to have misplaced Zippy. Oh well, I'm sure she'll turn up soon. Anywho, I think I've done most of my homework for this fic, being looking up most of the characters, how the show was made, why characters were put in, what makes them tick, and whatnot. I've come to the conclusion that NO ONE can say that our interpretation of JL is wrong because, well . . . there is no actual set form. It changes, or is left ambiguous enough to allow for loopholes. So, if we say that Bruce Wayne's eyes are blue, then they're blue. If we say that Flash doesn't get out of his costume much, then he doesn't get out of his costume much. If we say something, then that's the way it is, okay? Okay. Sweet.  
  
(Sorry for being serious all of a sudden, I guess I'm just a bit bipolar.)  
  
Oh yeah! We don't own Justice League or any of the characters or the other random shit we've put in here. If we did, we'd certainly have better things to do than ponder the possible relationship trauma that could ensue on that little Watchtower satellite. But then, where would all the fun be?  
  
Ed: Fun! Fun! Who sees the fun?  
  
Chunks: er, right.  
  
Ein: =squeak=  
  
-  
  
-  
  
It is hard to believe that humans are supposed to be the most intelligent beings on this planet.  
  
Albeit, most the creatures I know personally that take up residence here aren't originally from Earth, but that still does not change the fact that they are living here. Other species' idiosyncrasies tend to rub off on one who has stayed in contact for an extended period of time.  
  
I'm overjoyed that none of it has rubbed off on me.  
  
I scrape up my winnings from my previous games with Hawkgirl and Green Lantern. Hawkgirl was quite upset that I had stripped her wallet of all contents during my winning streak and Lantern not much less so. However, I had assured them multiple times that, according to the rules on the back of the deck, the use of telepathy to win was not prohibited. It did little to lighten their moods. Hawkgirl has now gone to bed in a bit of a huff, and Lantern has remained silent, still staring at the only dollar he has managed to secure.  
  
Well, it wasn't my fault they wanted to play poker.  
  
Not that I will use any of the money. I will simply redistribute it when the previous owners show themselves worthy enough to have it. Until then, it will remain in my secret storage facility in my room.  
  
I pick up the last of the money, just barely able to hold the spilling bills in my arms, more than a little curious as to why Green Lantern hasn't gone to bed yet. As I stand up with my winnings, I query, "Don't humans need at least eight hours of sleep?"  
  
It takes a while for Lantern to respond. When he does, he snaps up as though he had been asleep with his eyes open. "I'm sorry, what did you say again?"  
  
"It is late," I say patiently. "You should sleep."  
  
He looks down, a defeated look in his eyes. "What's the point?" he sighs.  
  
I fail to comprehend. "I fail to comprehend. Why do you ask that?"  
  
His green eyes swivel in my direction. "Every time I sleep, I dream about her."  
  
"Who?" I almost ask, but his thoughts betray him and I know. "Hawkgirl?"  
  
He does not answer that. The lone bill in his hands floats to the ground as he holds his head in his hands. Slumping his shoulders slightly, he closes his eyes and continues as though I hadn't asked at all.  
  
"I know I'm not supposed to think this way, especially since we're only supposed to have a business relationship, but . . . I just can't help it. When we fight evil together, it's like music in motion, but whenever we talk, we just end up arguing. Sometimes I wonder how I could ever allow myself to fall in love, especially with her. I've been trained not to all my life. I'm a soldier, someone who isn't supposed to think on a personal level. I'm supposed to think on a practical level. But . . . every time she looks at me, everything else just seems so unimportant. It's getting harder and harder for me to stay alert when we fight our enemies, and sometimes I'm afraid . . . afraid that she'll be my undoing." He looks up at me. "J'Onn, I'm just not sure about anything anymore."  
  
I look at him for a long time before answering, "Perhaps you are already undone."  
  
He lets out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, maybe. And then last night . . . She . . . Oh, never mind. But she really confused me. I don't know if she feels the way I do."  
  
"Have you talked to her about any of this?" I ask him.  
  
Lantern sighs again. "No."  
  
I shift my winnings in my arms while he looks out the large window on the other side of the room. There is an uncomfortable silence as the stars outside wink in and out of our sight. Green Lantern makes no sign that he is thinking about explaining any more on his feelings than he already has, so I conclude that he has finished his half of the conversation. I assume that he would like to be left alone and begin walking to the exit, but think better of it and turn speak from the doorway.  
  
"She doesn't like people keeping secrets from her."  
  
He does not respond, but the look in his eyes seems to say that he will think about it.  
  
I do not dwell on it. I know that Green Lantern is perfectly capable of making his own decisions. I proceed to walk down the corridor, passing by many open doors that lead to League bedrooms or studies, and almost any other type of room imaginable. One in particular catches my eye, most likely because it is occupied, though the resident does not sleep.  
  
Diana stands there, staring out the window. Though I am not exceptionally attuned to typical Earthling emotions, I cannot help but feel a little of the sadness her form radiates. It is a sadness I know all too well: that of being alone.  
  
She certainly has fallen hard for Batman.  
  
Of course, she would be shocked if she found out that I knew about that. Most of my colleagues don't realize that I know almost everything that goes down on this satellite. The fact that I have telepathy and can phase out and about as I please comes in handy when I wish to observe. It is not that I like to spy on them . . . far from it. I am simply just fascinated by the social aspect of this planet and the social aspect of this select group even more so.  
  
I continue walking, knowing that Diana will be here tomorrow and will most likely want to talk about it then and not now. Finally reaching my room, I step in as the door opens with a slight whoosh I set tonight's winnings on a table to be sorted in alphabetical order according to previous owner. I decide I would rather do that tomorrow, seeing as someone has to be watching the monitors at this moment, and as far as I know, the others have no intention of doing that.  
  
Exiting my room and heading toward the control panel to monitor any would- be disasters, I nearly barrel into the form of Hawkgirl, who, for some reason has decided that she won't be sleeping tonight after all.  
  
"I'm sorry," I apologize, helping her regain her balance.  
  
"It's all right," she says in a strangely subdued voice.  
  
"What's wrong?" I ask, concerned. Hawkgirl isn't normally nearly as docile.  
  
"Nothing. I just need to get out for a few hours. Do some thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
She looks away from me, self-consciously crossing her arms over her chest. "A lot of things." Turning her head back in my direction she continues, "I'll be back tomorrow."  
  
With that, she walks out to the hangar.  
  
This is a mystery I must try to solve tomorrow. I can't believe I could have missed this. I must be losing my touch to not see something wrong with Hawkgirl today. Ah well . . . at least it will give me something interesting to think about as I watch the monitors.  
  
This is a strange place, The Watchtower. It allows me to see what few others can. I see the humanity of these six, considered by many to be "above" the human race. I see the problems that they face, the ones that the rest of the human race never even knows about. I see the way they must always hide things, from their friends, from their families, from themselves. But only rarely can they hide things from me. The Red Planet has given her children more natural abilities than the Blue Planet has given hers. Sometimes, I long for my own people, to be understood again, instead of being an enigma. It is no matter, as I will always strive to help my new companions, no matter how strangely they may act.  
  
Earthlings are fast becoming my favourite race of aliens.  
  
=End chapter 4=  
  
A/N: Zippy's back! Sorry this one is so short. Chunks and I thought it might be nice to hear J'Onn's side of the story, seeing as he would probably know just about everything going on. Just so everyone knows, we view him almost like a Spock/Piccolo type character. Logical, somewhat stern, but with a true desire to help people. Also, both guys are a bit confused by their friends, but they still accept and support them.  
  
So . . . next time, we might even find out who slept with Hawkgirl! What was with her "painful memories" thing, anyways? What did she do that confused Green Lantern so much? Does the Bat miss Diana as much as she misses him? REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
If you happen to be a person who likes DBZ, read the other stories by me and Chunks (chunks is scolding me for bad grammar, but oh well). PLEASE!!!!! Check Chunks' profile for more good authors and stories. Mine too. If you like Batman/Wonder Woman stories, I just read an AWESOME one. I don't remember the exact title, but I think it was something like, "In Darkest Night" by Meljean Brook, or similar to that. REVIEW THOSE PEOPLE TOO, IF YOU READ MORE STORIES!!!!!! Everybody loves reviews. Feel free to recommend other people in your reviews, if you think they are good (or if you just want to share your story with the world). We also accept any and all suggestions from our readers.  
  
DC beats Marvel.  
  
Ein: =squeak= =squeak= 


	5. Bite me! Mmm crunchy!

Chapter 5: Bite me! Mmm . . . Crunchy!  
  
-  
  
A/N: back again, to disclaim, to write, and to shock everyone horribly. **. . . ** indicates a person's thoughts. It's been a while since we have updated, but then, it has been a while since Chunkymunky241 and I have been able to collaborate. ANYWHO we are gonna mess with stuff, so just bear with us. We like plot twists, okay! Geez.  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Diana was pacing in her room. Green Lantern was pacing in his room. Martian Manhunter paced, though not in his room. No one knew where Hawkgirl was. Each was consumed with his or her own personal problems. They spent the night like this, wrapped in thought, wanting help from someone else, but unwilling to ask. The proud bastards.  
  
Diana wondered about Batman. Did he really care for her, or did he just have a few too many to drink? She sighed. She knew she was not his first. Probably wouldn't be his last. Batman had a tendency to leave nearly as many broken hearts in his wake as playboy Bruce Wayne. And she HAD heard of a Talia. She sighed again. She was being pathetic. She looked out the window again, staring at her home planet. But was it really her home? Diana didn't even know if she truly counted as a human. She HAD been made out of clay. The planetoid out there was Man's World, a world she didn't really understand. She felt left out, as if everything she had ever known was a fake. Did Batman feel like this all the time? Was that why he shunned working as a team? She didn't know. Maybe she never would. What did he want from this world, anyways? All she wanted was his trust and affection. He had her love, whatever he might do with it. She doubted she would ever really get his. She doubted he still believed in love.  
  
Green Lantern had finally gone to bed around two in the morning. He woke at about eight. He woke at about eight everyday. He sat up and slipped on his ring, turning his eyes from a deep brown to blazing green. He put on his black and green uniform as the automatic lights in the room flickered on. The door to the hallway opened with a swish and he peered out. Lantern walked across the hall to the communal bathroom. There he washed his face, and paused for a moment as he stared at his reflection. A knock at the door broke off his thoughts.  
  
"I REALLY NEED TO SHOWER!!!"  
  
GL suppressed a chuckle as the door slid open to reveal a disheveled Wonder Woman.  
  
"Thank you very much . . . You are leaving, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes. All free for you, you Highness."  
  
"Oh good." She brushed past him and started removing jewelry. Lantern left quickly, as he wasn't sure if Diana had learned modesty on Themyscira. Not that seeing her would be a bad thing . . . but still. He heard the shower turn on as he continued to walk toward the kitchen. He was hungry. Maybe there were some of those fishsticks left over from the night before.  
  
Martian Manhunter stopped pacing when Green Lantern entered the room. J'Onn never had gotten any sleep, so he was getting a bit cranky. Cranky for J'Onn just meant he was more solemn than usual. He was still upset over Hawkgirl's disappearance, and the fact that he couldn't delve into her mind. He had sensed a great turmoil inside her mind, a chaos of conflicting loyalties and torn emotions. With all the disorder, he couldn't get to the heart of her problems. This disturbed him. It had never happened before. How odd. The tall Martian walked over to Green Lantern, intent on inquiring how the human had slept. GL was sitting at the kitchen table munching on fishsticks. He offered one to J'Onn.  
  
"Hey, you want one? They're pretty good."  
  
"No thank you. I just need some water," replied the Martian. (hint, hint, Piccolo fans!)  
  
About ten minutes later, Wonder Woman strolled in, her hair wrapped up neatly in a towel. (oh, but the rest of her was dressed too. Tee hee.) She headed straight for the cupboard, peering inside for anything remotely resembling a breakfast. All she saw was a can of sweetened condensed milk, diet split pea soup, cream of tartar, jelly cranberry sauce, a bottle of vinegar, tonic water, and some cottage cheese that looked like it had been there a mite too long. Her face scrunched up in disgust.  
  
"I think we need to go shopping," she muttered.  
  
"Diana, we have some fishsticks here if you want," GL said, sliding the plate in her direction.  
  
She picked up a stick from the plate, examining it before taking a delicate bite. She chewed for a bit and swallowed, smiling a little. "These aren't bad," she commented.  
  
"Nope," GL said, inhaling another fishstick.  
  
Diana reached for another one when she felt a presence in a doorway. Without turning to face him she said, "Would you like some fishsticks . . . . . . . . .Batman?"  
  
The shadow in the door answered with a gruff, "No thanks. I have to install this into the main computer." He pulled an AOL version 11 billion point 7 out of his cape.  
  
"All right then," Wonder Woman said, keeping her voice purposely neutral, but looking down at her plate with a depressed look in her eye.  
  
Batman hesitated for just a moment before he left to go to the monitor room.  
  
Green Lantern quirked his brow a little at the scene before him. Apparently he wasn't the only one with relationship problems.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
The winds picked up a little more as she increased altitude, enjoying the feeling of the thermals brushing against her wings. She had left the Javelin-7 parked somewhere in the woods, opting for a freer, more natural flight. Swooping and darting between the great cumulous clouds, her smooth, graceful actions did little to belie the troubled thoughts circulating within her head.  
  
Flying alone like this, however, always seemed to give her a sense of peace, a freedom that she couldn't get when she was grounded with others. To just be flying without a sense of immediate direction, without a mission, without inhibitions seemed to be the only area in her life where she really felt like she was *living.* Well, besides fighting, of course. Fighting had its drawbacks though. Mostly in the fact that someone always had to get hurt. Now, soaring above everything else, she felt a relief that no one could get hurt up here.  
  
She really didn't need any more pain anyway.  
  
She had started her flight in the wee hours of the morning, lifting off from the Javelin just as the night stars were beginning to fade. The waning of the moon had been her companion, setting the planet softly aglow with its silver sheen as she rose into the sky. All had been silent during the passing of the night, and even now, as the sun rose up over the hills, there was no sound to interrupt the sky's tranquility. Except . . .  
  
"Tip-toe . . . through the tulips . . ."  
  
Hawkgirl blinked at the intruding song. She peered around from her airborne position to locate its singer, but found no change in the scenery she had seen before. The same mountains were looming before the same rising sun; the same trees were swaying in the same breeze; the same blazing trail of dust was rising up from beneath the same forest canopy . . . wait a minute . . . dust?  
  
She flew down to the dusty trail and noted a scarlet blur streaking through the not very scarlet forest. Oh good. Typical that she should find Flash, here, of all places. She landed in a very convenient clearing to spy on the little blitz of red. **Skies above but I hate that song.** (She is of course referring to "Tiptoe through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim. As any Brit or friend of a Brit knows, that is the worst song known to humanity. It is so completely out of tune that even BANDOS wince. And that is saying something.)  
  
Enter Flash. He speeds through the clearing, does a double-take on the occupant of the clearing, and promptly rams into a tree.  
  
"Nice going, George of the Jungle," commented a very smirky Hawkgirl.  
  
Flash, still a tad dazed, wandered over to where Hawkgirl had perched herself. He looked up and smiled. "Howdy. Fancy meetin' you out here, little lady . . . "  
  
"Uh, sure . . . . . . Flash, are you okay? I think you may have hit your head one too many times." She gracefully slid down next to him, looking concerned. She put her left hand on his head and gave a small frown as she guided him to a large rock and sat him down. He moved sluggishly, as though drunk.  
  
"Flash, are you drunk?"  
  
"Wha . . . ? No. . . . I don't get drunk. You do. Remember?"  
  
Hawkgirl gave an indignant little gasp and dropped her hands from Flash's head and arm. It seemed to break Flash out of his dazed reverie (no, he wasn't drunk. He just ran into a tree at like 140MPH. I would be a tad confused myself.) because he put a hand on her shoulder. "Oh Hawkgirl, I didn't mean it like that . . . It's just, I had to carry you to your room. That's how loaded you were."  
  
There was an awkward pause before Flash continued. "You know, some people drink to forget. Musta been a doozie for you to do that to yourself. Care to share?"  
  
"I don't know. That whole evening seems a blur to me. I remember fighting over something with Diana, and some lyrics from 'Who let the Dogs out?' but that's it. Then, I wake up that morning and find myself-oh, I am just confused."  
  
"There, there," Flash said, patting her on the back, and she frowned, puzzled. "I know," he sighed, "but it was the best I could think of."  
  
"Heh," she smiled a little.  
  
"Hey, look, it worked!" he grinned. "So, not to regress back into bad memories, but do you remember what you did to GL that night?"  
  
"WHAT??" Hawkgirl stood up abruptly, knocking Flash over onto the forest floor.  
  
In a mildly muffled voice, Flash replied, "Oh, you didn't know about that?" (okay, so it kinda sounded like "oh, oou iddint oh aout at?")  
  
"Tell me all about it! Please, Flash!" she practically yelled as she pulled him up and shook him by the shoulders. Oh, can you just imagine her mental pictures. Horrible, yet. . . . not so horrible. Buahaha.  
  
Flash was vaguely reminded of whiplash as he was violently attacked by the desperate Hawkgirl.  
  
"WAIT! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Batman was busy installing AOL version 11 billion point 7 in the lovely little, okay big, computer room of the lovely BIG space station that we lovingly call the Watchtower, since it resembles those lovely little Scottish fortress castle thingies that we love. (Sorrie. Enough with the love. We are starting to act like "Spicy Nachos")  
  
Anywho. He had just rebooted the system when he heard a gentle tapping at the doorway. He turned, his eyes having to adjust to the light flooding in past the curved silhouette of Diana. **Oh no. What should I say what should I say? Sorry, that was fun, but I only go for one night stands? No, too insensitive. Diana, I just don't think this is working. That's impersonal. Sorry, you aren't my type, I only go for humans. No, that one would just make her cry. . . . I love you, but I'm not IN love with you. . . . I only think of you as a sister-oh hell no that one is just wrong. Fucking A. ** Batman was feeling awkward. He decided to just ask cautiously, "Hi, Diana. How are you?"  
  
"Um, I'm okay. . . You didn't call." Wonder Woman responded slowly.  
  
"Well, I've been busy. I have a whole city to defend. I can't just think of one person all the time," was his gruff reply.  
  
"Oh, Right. Yeah. . . ." Diana answered meekly. She seemed taken aback because she just looked down at him, nodded once, and left silently.  
  
Batman just thought to himself,** Oh shit.**  
  
J'Onn, who felt that listening to that conversation would be worthwhile, just thought to himself, ** Oh my God. She's going to kill him. Poor Bruce."  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ METROPOLIS, CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT  
  
"WHAT??? Oh my goodness.."  
  
"Clark, are you okay? Clark? I know it is a bit sudden, but, we can handle it, right?"  
  
"Lois..I thought you were taking something. I mean, I."  
  
"Claaaaaark!..you don't love me!!! You don't want to have children with me! It's because I'm ugly, isn't it? Compared to HER I am nothing! She's so PERFECT and tall and strong!" Lois promptly started to sob hysterically. Clark, who had no idea what to do, just sat in front of her, and looked worried. He finally gathered enough courage to ask against her torrent, "Are you sure?"  
  
"OF COURSE I'M SURE!!! I'M A FEMALE, AREN'T I?? AND I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND SHE CONFIRMED IT TOO!! Why can't you just accept it? Is it because you would rather that SHE was pregnant? You heartless bastard!!!" and Lois just kept crying.  
  
"Lois, I love you, honey. I would never feel that way about Diana. And I am happy, really I am. It's just that I am surprised. Really, I'm happy. Oh, come here, honey." And poor little Superman just held the sobbing little Lois and she eventually stopped crying but he kept holding her. He didn't want her to feel alone and he didn't want her to feel unloved. So he held her, because she loved him and he loved her and they just had to be together. That was the only way they could work. Together. Because they didn't know how to tell each other, but they loved each other, so much that it hurt. So much that she would cry over jealousy. So much that he would lie to keep her from hurting.  
  
J'Onn thought to himself, ** Congratulations, Clark. It's a boy.**  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Zippy: Well, that was fun.  
  
Chunks: Yeah, it was a pretty great band season, wasn't it?  
  
Zippy: Dork.  
  
Chunks: You're a dork. Stupid Brasshole.  
  
Ed: Review if you love Spike!! Mmm . . . chee~tohs.  
  
Ein: =squeak=  
  
Zippy: =squeak= DREW, I HATE YOU! Quit poking me!  
  
Drew: Whoa, that sounded wrong.  
  
Chunks: Oh, but it was funny.  
  
Justin: Hehe.  
  
Chunks: Yeah. Justin, gimme your glasses.  
  
Justin: No! Back off!  
  
Drew: Go away.  
  
Justin: Crazy girls.  
  
Zippy & Ein: =squeak= =squeak=  
  
[END] 


	6. La Explanation, La Gundam, and Lahore

Chapter 6: La Explanation, La Gundam, and Lahore.  
  
A/N: Zippy and Chunks would like to apologize to all the people who take all of the DC Comics really seriously, because we are going to do such major tweakage that they will want to kill us slowly. So please don't, and please understand that this probably happens in an alternate universe, as you don't see many people wearing Star-Spangled underwear or people with big wings and/or tight spandex running around Times Square. And where in bejesus is Gotham City, anyways? So, please be kind, and accept the changes that we, the authors, have invoked upon your favorite characters.  
  
Disclaimer: the original concepts of these characters/locations/objects/t.v. shows are not ours, but we change them and add personalities and use them in ways that we don't think they have been used before. Therefore, the characters/locations/objects in this story are uniquely ours. Please don't be mad at us. We are just two girls with some fun story ideas. ^_^ Rock on, all!  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE FOREST, KINDA  
  
"So I got really drunk."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you somehow found Diana's Invisible Jet."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you flew me up to the Watchtower in the jet."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And what happened after that?"  
  
"Well, you were still kinda tipsy, so I had to help you walk. GL was in the kitchen, and he came over to see what was up. You then walked right up to him and kissed him."  
  
"I WHAT?"  
  
"Yeah. I didn't think it was fair that he was getting all the action, so I steered you away towards your room. When we got there, I wasn't sure how you slept, so I put you face down on your bed, took your mace as a hangover precaution, and went to bed."  
  
"And that's all that happened?"  
  
"Yeah. Pretty much. . . ."  
  
"Pretty much?"  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE:  
  
Green Lantern and J'Onn J'Onzz were frantically trying to finish their Level 5 Gundam model. They were trying to beat the record of a five hour assembly. Wonder Woman was acting the part of their lovely assistant, holding the base so they could work on the wings. GL was just adding the final touches when Batman walked in, having completed his installation of the AOL thingiemawhatsit.  
  
Diana stood up and strode out of the room, pulling the base with her.  
  
"Heydianawereallyneedtha-" J'Onn just grimaced as the door slammed behind her and the model fell into bunches of tiny little pieces.  
  
"God damn it, Batman! You had to walk in, didn't you? Now we have to start all over again!" cried Green Lantern plaintively.  
  
The Bat replied, aloof as ever, "Not my problem. I'm going home. I've finished installing the program."  
  
"Great . . . just great . . ." GL, still irritated, ignored Batman as he tried to recover what was left of the model and muttered under his breath, "Just 'cause you can't keep it in your rubber suit doesn't mean the rest of us should suffer . . ."  
  
Batman swooshed out with his cape.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE FOREST- PLACE-THINGIE  
  
"What do you mean 'pretty much'?"  
  
"I . . . er . . .uh . . .well . . .um . . . yeah . . . kinda saw down you shirt when I was . . . uh . . . carrying you . . . er . . ." Flash put his hand behind his head sheepishly (classic Goku style, DBZ fans).  
  
Hawkgirl quickly started to blush a deep crimson. Flash's incredibly sympathetic response to this was, "Hey you match my outfit!"  
  
Hawkgirl's response to THAT was "YOU PERVERT!" and a nice swing with that handy little electric mace. MMm. . . . violence. . . . She then darted into the noon sky, UP UP AND AWAY!!! (no obvious reference to Superman, of course.)  
  
Flash was getting hungry. All this thinking was making him hungry. **All this thinking is making me hungry. And redundant redundant. Hmm, are there any more fishsticks up in the freezer?**  
  
Yes, yes there are. Go eat, oh skinny white boy.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ AT THE LOCAL QUIK-E- MART  
  
"Hmm. . . . 'Bread and Butter' Pickles. . . ." Superman, now in his guise of Clark Kent, incredibly naïve reporter for the 'Daily Planet,' perused the aisle for pickles. His basket dangled from the crook of his elbow, already filling with the Teriyaki Beef Jerky and other random assorted foodstuffs so graciously requested by the increasingly hormonal Lois.  
  
He plucked the jar of "Bread and Butter" pickles off the shelf and added it to his basket. Had to be "Bread and Butter." None of this "Sweet" or "Dill" nonsense for Lois. Oh no, she had to have the kind that he could never find. Now on to the ice cream. Two gallons of "Chocolate Malted Crunch" and a half-pint of Ben and Jerry's "Chunky Monkey." Great. **Where is the frickin ice cream?!?!?!**  
  
"Keen I hep you, sir? Ees there anyting I can do for yoo?" asked the very helpful Pakistani owner. (Imagine the cool Pakistani accent here, people. Again, no offense to any Pakistanis. We just think your accent is awfully nifty. Word up.)  
  
Clark hefted the bucket of Malted Crunch onto the counter. "No thanks. I'm good." He put the basket next to the two gallon container. He then adjusted his glasses and pulled out his wallet.  
  
"That will bee twentie-seeks feefty, sir." ($26.50 for those who can't bother to say it aloud)  
  
Clark handed him $30 and said, "Keep the change."  
  
The store owner's eyes brightened. "Thenk you, sir. Perhaps now I keen visit my family in my homeland."  
  
"Oh, where are you from," inquired Clark, "India?"  
  
The owner drew himself up proudly. "No sir. I am from Lahore of Pakistan."  
  
Clark raised an eyebrow as he gathered up his bags. "Uh, yeah. . ." he said, "good luck with that . . . "  
  
"Thank yoo, come again!"  
  
(Cultural note for my fellow Americans: Lahore is an actual city in Pakistan. You all should read up on it, you ill-educated swine. ^_^)  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER  
  
Green Lantern had gathered up the remnants of his Gundam model and stalked off to his room. Flash had arrived earlier and stuffed himself full of crispy, golden-brown, fish stick goodness. He then passed out on the couch because the poor dear had had a long day. Aww. . . .the unfortunate little darling. Diana had locked herself in her bedroom, listening to "Aase's Death" by Edvard Grieg. Batman was skulking in Gotham, Hawkgirl was still soaring in the wild blue yonder, and Superman was busy coaxing Lois to STOP EATING ICE CREAM. Martian Manhunter was slowly attempting to bash in a wall with his head. The voices, the voices!  
  
Well, okay, J'Onn was having some problems. This telepathy thing was getting to be quite a hassle. Frankly, these guys were thinking things that he just DID NOT WANT TO KNOW. Take a peek inside the chat room that he had the privilege of experiencing:  
  
**Oh, yes please, right there!**  
  
**Yup, gonna kill.**  
  
**What does that mean? What kind of joke is 'that's my fish in your pants'?**  
  
**Everglade Snail Kites are endangered animals.**  
  
**If you tie toast butter side up to the back of a cat and drop it, what will happen?**  
  
**You make me throw up a little.**  
  
**Damn, this smells like butt!**  
  
**The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be. . . .**  
  
**I think the Wonder Twins were gettin' it on. And that's really kinky. 'Cause why did they have a monkey?**  
  
And there was also a voiceless presence. It was unfamiliar to the Martian, which was odd, because he knew everyone that came on this station. There were hints of the familiar about it, but it was odd. There were no coherent thoughts, just a sense of BEING. He felt it. J'Onn began randomly phasing in and out of the space station.  
  
Checked in the living room. Only Flash, passed out on the couch, snoring like a locomotive.  
  
Checked in the kitchen. Nope, empty.  
  
How about the docking bay? No, there was no one in there but the Javelin. And the Invisible Jet. Possibly. It was hard to tell.  
  
So Martian Manhunter started checking bedrooms. Flash wasn't in his, for obvious reasons, and neither were Hawkgirl, Superman, or Batman. GL's room was normal. Well, moderately. There was KrazyGlue everywhere, and GL's hand was stuck to the Gundam's face because of that, but whatever. His own personal room was empty, as everyone was too freaked out by his mind- reading SKILLZ to ever try to mess with his stuff. That left. . .  
  
. . . Diana's room. Who could be in there with her? He quickly phased in front of her door.  
  
"Diana? It is J'Onn. Are you okay?"  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: Well that was fun. We apologize about not updating, but you know how it goes. Random silliness awaits you in the next chapter, so look forward to that . . . whenever it may arrive. We're not promising any upcoming dates for you, so you'll have to just buckle down and be patient. Put please review anyways, because reviewing encourages us to write faster. We are bummed at our number of reviews. Please make us happy. Happy writers are fast writers. Indeed. If you are the lazy type, just pull a trick like A-man and just put one word. Nice! If you REALLY like us, review the story under both of the authors (authoresses?).  
  
Ed has lost herself. But she's looking for her.  
  
Ein is still squeaking. Squeaking madly.  
  
Zim says, "YOU ALL SPEAK CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Fez says, "Good day. No, I say 'Good Day!'"  
  
Chunks says: Whot, whot?  
  
Zippy says: "And I love YOU, and I love YOU, and YOU are really hot, and I love YOU a lot too, and YOU are-"  
  
Alright, that's enough of that. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ Word up . . . 


	7. How Sweet It Is to be Loved by You

Chapter 7: How sweet it is to be loved by you . . .  
  
-  
  
A/N: Bonjour a la nouveau chapitre de Zippy et Chunks! Nous sommes ici parce que nous aimons le Justice League, et nous sommes deux filles heureses quand nous ecrirons. Vous devrez preparer pour l'amour, l'action, et le betises de le sept personnes dans le Justice League.  
  
Disclaimer: Yes, that was in French. If you are French, and I messed up, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. I haven't done very well in French. BUT I PASSED THE CLASS WITH A NICE 76%!!!! So no more French for me. Yes.  
  
Oh yeah, we don't own it. The Justice League. That's not ours. So we don't own it. So don't sue us. Because we can't afford it. We spent all our money at the Renaissance Faire.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Yes J'Onn?"  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Sure. I'm just talking to my mother on the videophone."  
  
=Chunks: They have video phones on Thymescira? Zippy: They do now . . .=  
  
"Oh. I see. I thought I heard someone in here. I was just making a final check before going to bed." The Martian replied.  
  
"Nope, just me in here. Well, unless you could hear my mother from the hallway," Diana responded.  
  
"That must have been it. Sorry to disturb you. I'm going to go to bed now."  
  
"Oh, it's no disturbance, J'Onn. Goodnight!"  
  
"Goodnight, Diana."  
  
The Martian left the Amazon's room, but before going to his own lair he went to the bridge and flew up to a control room. It had no windows and no doors, and thus he was the only League member able to access it, as he could simply phase through the floor.  
  
In his control tower he could focus on everyday problems without actually being a part of them. He could simply observe and analyze. To assist him in the observing he had installed a series of extremely small, though hi-tech, cameras throughout the Watchtower. He had one in each of the Leaguer's bedrooms, though placed in such a way that they did not record any shenanigans that might be occurring on the bed itself, only the half of the room that included the door. He liked to know who went in and out . . . . There were also cameras in the living room, kitchen, hallways, dining room, and docking bay. Bathrooms he left out, as that would be just a touch too pervy.  
  
Every morning, noon, and night, J'Onn changed the discs that recorded Watchtower activity. He stored all of these micro-discs in an elaborate series of hidden rooms located in various places around the Watchtower. All he had to do was reach into these rooms and phase in and out the discs of his choice. Rather convenient, eh?  
  
Once he had successfully changed and hidden the discs, he made his way to his room. He didn't really sleep. Instead, he organized all the remaining unsorted money he had won at previous poker games. After that he fell into a deep, relaxing meditation. He was never far from conciousness, however. Someone must always be watching the Watchers, and protecting them if need be. Such is the duty of a friend.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
THE NEXT MORNING:  
  
"Bleeeaghhh. . . . ." "Arrouugh..." "Ach, ach, aarrhhh.."  
  
Such were the signs of the heavy ralphing, currently occurring in the Kent bathroom. Lois was sprawled on the floor, her robe spread out around her and her fuzzy pink bunny slippers looking sympathetic. Ah, pregnancy.  
  
Clark really was to blame for all of this. First off, he got her pregnant, obviously. Then, he goes and INDULGES her cravings for ice cream, which are his fault too, since they are a direct result of the pregnancy and THAT is ALL his fault. DAMN HIM.  
  
She should just turn and puke all over him. Just because he was being nice enough to hold her hair back didn't excuse him from his actions. And he probably wasn't even thinking about her, much as she was pale and puking right in front of him.  
  
**He is probably thinking of the Amazon. Her perfect skin, her glowing lasso, all serving to make her look even more spectacular in comparison to the vomitous little wifey! I'm the wife, after all! I snared Clark fair and square and he belongs to ME. Not some naïve and busty skank who walks around in little more than her underwear!**  
  
"Lois, are you done?" Clark asked nicely, a sympathetic yet grossed-out expression on his face.  
  
**Oh, of course. He is trying to leave. He wants to get back up in space with the bimbo. If I could only beat her up, I would. But with her MAJESTIC strength, what is a puny human woman to do? If only I could even up the score with Wonder Wench.**  
  
"Lois, honey?"  
  
"What."  
  
"Are you . . . okay?"  
  
". . . I'm just FINE, thank you SO much."  
  
Lois got off the floor and washed off her face. She also partook of the mouthwash. Quite liberally. She then got out her toothbrush and began brushing with more toothpaste then was supposed to be used, but she felt the occasion demanded it.  
  
Clark had stood up with her and he now released her raven hair onto her back and shoulders. "I have to go, honey."  
  
Lois was silent, and her only acknowledgment of his words was her spitting into the sink. He sighed, then moved closer to her.  
  
"I'll be back soon. I love you, Beautiful." He kissed her gently on the forehead and left.  
  
The toothbrush clattered into the sink.  
  
"I hope so," she whispered.  
  
=A/N: we happen to be listening to "When a Man Loves a Woman." That is so darn appropriate that we are in "awww. . . . . ." mode.=  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
AT WALL-TO-WALL MART (we yoinked that from Fairly Oddparents)  
  
Diana was the one doing the perusing now. J'Onn pushed the cart behind her, and was pulling off some fancy steering to catch the food products that she occasionally chucked behind her. He was dressed to blend-in, sporting a very stylish cream turtleneck and dark brown coat, along with some khaki Dockers slacks. His shoes were brown, but his designer sunglasses were pitch black. All in all, he looked fairly classy. You could hardly see his green skin, especially because J'Onn had toned it down to a nice Latino color. Nevertheless, the pair was still quite conspicuous as Diana never forsakes her patriotic nightwear ensemble.  
  
"This is taking much too long. Here, you take a basket and I will take the cart and we can split up. Take the Ethnic Food aisle. Hera knows how much Flash likes his ramen."  
  
"Okay. . ."  
  
AND THEY SPLIT UP, OFF TO FIGHT STARVATION IN THE FARTHEST REACHES OF FLASH'S STOMACH.  
  
"Hmm. . .but does he like 'Teriyaki Beef,' 'Sweet and Sour Shrimp' or 'California Vegetable?'" the solemn green giant asked himself.  
  
"Perhaps you should get all kinds. I like them all myself," commented a slightly fobby Asian chick. She was about twenty-three, maybe five foot two, but made about five foot six by her platform shoes. Her outfit (which involved a shirt that looked a tad ripped up, a SHORT mini-skirt, and some fishnets) made her look as though she had just escaped from a rave, even thought it was about ten in the morning. She had glow sticks in her hair, which also featured some LOVELY orange streaks in it. This caused some church-returned shoppers to give her some LOOKS. But she didn't really mind, as she was thoroughly engrossed in talking to the tall Latino HOTTIE in Dockers.  
  
"Nice pants," she added.  
  
"Um, thank you. And thank you for the advice."  
  
"Oh no problem. My name is Onna Kitsune, what is yos?"  
  
"My name is J'Onn. I have to go now, I'm sorry," the Martian-turned-Mexican replied.  
  
"Oh, you shy one, huh? I like de shy ones. Can I see how shy you REALLY are?"  
  
Oh, FLAGRANT flirting going on there. Does the Manhunter respond?  
  
". . . Very well then." the Manhunter responded. Hey, lonely Martians have needs too, you know?  
  
Perhaps he is a Womanhunter after all.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
AT THE CHECKOUT LINE  
  
"Where on earth is J'Onn? I told him to meet me by the tabloids forty-five minutes ago!"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
AT THE WATCHTOWER  
  
"It BURNS! IT BURNS!! AAAHHH!!!" Green Lantern screamed as Flashed dumped nail polish remover onto his forehead.  
  
"Suck it up, GL," Flash tugged on his hand rather forcefully, the hand that, for whatever reason, had migrated from the top of the Gundam to the forehead of our favourite superhero in green and black. "I mean, if women can take this stuff all the time, you shouldn't be such a wimp about it."  
  
GL frowned. "But women never put it near their EYES."  
  
Flash blinked. "Good point. But anyway, I think it's working on the glue here. I've almost gotten this . . . thing," each syllable came out with a corresponding yank, ". . . off . . . your . . . head-ah!"  
  
There was a distinct ripping sound, followed by a thud and two whimpers of pain, one coming from Flash (who had crashed into the wall on the other side of the room) and the other from Green Lantern (who now had a hand- shaped red mark and flaking glue-bits on his head). GL painfully made his way across the hall into the bathroom and attempted to scrub his face free of all the remaining glue.  
  
Flash got up from the floor, rubbing the back of his head gingerly. "You're welcome, man."  
  
"Oh, yeah . . . thanks," the only truly 'ethnic' member of the Justice League said while carefully plucking little flakes of glue from his forehead with his fingers.  
  
"Speaking of women," Flash began slyly, "does the big black man of the tower have any sweet ho's that he'd like to tell me about . . . eh?"  
  
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that."  
  
"Oh reeeeaaally?" the fastest man alive's eyes grew wide behind his mask. "Spill."  
  
GL's voice echoed a little apprehensively from the bathroom. "Well . . ."  
  
"Okay, so what are we talking about here?" Flash sped into the loo and plopped himself onto the (closed) toilet. "Black, white, brown, red, yellow . . .?"  
  
"Um. White . . . I think. I'm not completely sure. She's not from around here."  
  
"Oh, a mix! Nice!"  
  
"Yeah. I guess. She's kinda feisty too." GL added.  
  
Flash grinned, "That's always nice. Grrrrr!" He motioned a cat-scratch. "She hot?"  
  
"Very. A scorcher," smiled Green Lantern.  
  
"Sounds like quite a little devil!" Flash said, intrigued.  
  
"On the contrary, she can be quite an angel."  
  
"Good. That's good. How can I help you score with the she-devil?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
BACK AT THAT ONE STORE PLACE  
  
J'Onn finally showed up at the tabloids with some crushed ramen noodles and his clothes in various stages of dishevelment.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, Diana. I got lost."  
  
"Right. . . .Didn't you have a belt?"  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about."  
  
"Okay then. . ." The Amazon proceeded to pile the foodstuffs on the conveyer belt towards the cashier, all the while giving J'Onn some very suspicious looks.  
  
The duo was walking towards their car (which was really a spacecraft but those poor innocent human bystanders don't need to know that. They would just panic and swarm or something) when Onna bounced out from behind an umbrella display (hey, they are both easy open! look at that!) and said, "Hey J'Onn! I found your belt!"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER  
  
Batman had noticed when GL and Flash were bouncing around upstairs, but he really didn't care. He was busy trying to figure out what was causing some heating ducts to malfunction. No one else knew he was in the Watchtower. He didn't like telling people things. He liked to keep things mysterious. Fewer questions from Flash that way.  
  
He was still pondering Diana. He didn't really want to get close to her, as opening up to people always seemed to get them hurt. And, as much of a 'bad' boy he was, he really didn't like to hurt people. Look at Barbara Gordon: she used to be such a sweet girl, who only donned the cape and cowl as a Halloween costume. She didn't even need to become an avenger of the night; she just thought it was cool. And because of him, Joker took away her freedom (A/N: This is our own story. While we try to stay true to the new JL cartoon show, we take the liberty to try to include some comics and other animations and movies with it). And poor Nightwing. He hadn't meant to steal his sweetheart, or cause him all that grief. And even one of his Robins . . . he didn't even want to think about it (A/N: yeah, his life's crap. But that's why he has Diana, right?).  
  
He didn't want to hurt Diana too.  
  
"Are you going to help with the groceries or what?"  
  
There she was, silhouetted in the doorframe again. **How does she always know where I am?**  
  
He looked up. "Coming."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THAT BATHROOM . . . AGAIN.  
  
"So when are you going to boink her?"  
  
"WHAT?? I'm not going to 'BOINK' anyone!!"  
  
"You know, rock the casbaa, make sweet love, get your groove on, shake what yo' mama gave ya, get some tit for tat, know her in the biblical sense, ride 'em cowboy, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing, slide on hom-"  
  
"I'm not going to do any of that. I've got too much respect for her."  
  
"Sure you do."  
  
"I do!! I've seen her in action, and I trust her as much as I do any guy."  
  
Flash rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's a lot better."  
  
"No, that's not what I meant!" GL slammed his hand on the countertop. "I mean that I trust her as much as I trust you, or any other guy in the League."  
  
Flash, for once and to his credit, had no witty comeback.  
  
Green Lantern continued. "I've known her for a long time now, and I've worked along side her for years . . ."  
  
Flash was thinking to himself, **. . . does he mean Diana? She's never seemed that angry to me . . .**  
  
"But I don't know how I can talk to her or even approach her on the subject."  
  
"You don't think that this chick feels the same way then?" Flash commented, kind of feeling for his superbro.  
  
"Well, I don't think so."  
  
"Then try being nice to her."  
  
GL quirked a brow. "Because that's always worked for you, right?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nevermind," John shook it off. "I just can't get within mace-swing- radius."  
  
Flash heard an odd ringing sound . . . like the world around him just came crashing down. "A-are . . . are you talking . . . about H-Hawkgirl?" he stuttered.  
  
"Didn't you know about that?"  
  
[Hawkgirl, sadly, makes no appearance in this chapter. She is off flying somewhere.]  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
IN THE WATCHTOWER KITCHEN  
  
J'Onn had gone off to his lair to shed his ÜBER-COOL street-clothes (hahaha) and don his more usual cape and lederhosen ensemble. Diana and, ahem, Bruce, were in the kitchen unpacking the groceries. The radio was on in the backround, playing cheesy romance songs. You know the station. It's the one that always has bad requests made for unmusical eighties hits.  
  
Diana showed a small smile as she looked at Batman. Batman looked at her. With no emotion whatsoever. Great. . . .  
  
The Amazon was attempting to put away a large bag full of oranges. She gave a small gasp as an orange fell out of her hand and onto the linoleum. She and Batman bent down at the same time to pick it up. Hey, would you notice what song is conveniently playing in the background? A fluke at the station: a song that is actually good! KCRP was playing The Righteous Brothers. You know that song. . . you know you do. . . . "you're my soul, and my heart's inspiration!" oh man that is a cool song.  
  
So anyways, here they were in this surprisingly romantic setting. Face to face, inches apart, and good background music.  
  
He picked up the orange with a gloved hand, and as they both stood up he put it in her hand. She looked down on it, silently, and the music in the background almost made the moment cheesy.  
  
"You're my reason for laughin', for cryin', for livin', and for dyin'."  
  
He pushed some hair out of her face with his other hand.  
  
"BABY! I Can't Make It Without You!!"  
  
His mouth opened and shut as if he wanted to say something very important, but just couldn't. He then strode out of the kitchen. A low rumble (a little like a Batjet) came from the docking bay. Diana leaned against the countertop and peeled her orange.  
  
"Dammit."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
OUT KINDA IN SPACE A LITTLE BIT  
  
Batman kept banging his head on the control panel of his Batjet. He tried to avoid the parts of the panel with the most buttons, but there were still airbags inflating and weird alarms going off. Bruce finally stopped and turned off the sirens and whatnot.  
  
"Dammit," he sighed, and continued his decent towards Gotham.  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: Así, el septo parte termina. ¿Les gusta la dramática? Batman tiene unos problemas con situacines románticas, ¿no? Pobre cito . . . Y ¿qué tal con la GL/Hawkgirl/Flash relación? ¿Quién duerme con Hawkgirl? ¿Sabremos? ¡Ay! Pues, Zippy y yo vamos a trabajar con el próximo parte, pero necesitamos sus reseñas. Si no tenemos sus reseñas, sentimos que ustedes no nos amen. Ustedes nos aman, ¿sí? ¡¿SI?!  
  
=Chunks: I've got some mad Spanish skillz, eh?=  
  
Real A/N: Kay guys, that was a pretty long chapter. ALL FOR YOU. And we are trying to make up for not posting for so long. But it is summer now! And I can go live at Chunk's house again! Woo hoo! So you should be getting some chapters again. That is, if you want them. REVIEW PEOPLE. Geez. No love. . . . Love me, love me! Say that you love me! Er, us . . .  
  
Zippy: Vash is really hot. We should all watch Trigun. But what is Adult Swim doing to it? Keep moving him around. . . .  
  
Chunks: Don't forget about Wolfwood! He gets dragged along with Vash too, you know . . . poor guy. Poor, hot, preacher in black . . . mmm . . . religious bishounen . . .  
  
Zippy: Riiight . . .  
  
Ed and Ein: =SQUEAK= 


	8. Fly Me to the Moon and Don't Crash!

Chapter 8: Fly Me to the Moon (and don't crash!)  
  
-  
  
A/N: Diana knows that Superman grew up on a farm, but she doesn't know his real name or secret identity. But she knows about Lois' existance. Tee hee! Hang with us this chapter, cuz we get kinda mushy and insightful. No, these aren't real people, but hey, they could be, right? Sometime in the future, when our lives depend on the kindness of a bunch of special people and their amazing abilities! But, they are supposed to be kinda human, right? And emotions are very human. But then again, so is screwing up really bad. So, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: we have been mentioning a bunch of songs in the backround of recent chapters. Just so you know, we don't own those songs. Just like we don't own Justice League, DBZ, Pokemon, Gundam, Nintendo, or anything else that we have casually mentioned in our stories!  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE WATCHTOWER  
  
Superman walked into the kitchen as Diana was throwing away her orange peels in disgust.  
  
"Hi. Batman leave?"  
  
"Yes," she replied.  
  
"That's nice," he stood awkwardly. He felt weird in the kitchen. He wasn't really the kitchen type. "He finish fixing the heating ducts?"  
  
"I have no clue. I made him help me put away groceries."  
  
Superman quirked an eyebrow. "You . . . made him?"  
  
"Yes," she replied.  
  
"Oh. Okay then. I'll go see if they are fixed."  
  
"You don't have to go. In fact, YOU can help me put away groceries. He left before we finished," she commanded.  
  
Superman almost said no, but thought about that, and decided to just do whatever she said. It's not wise to get on a woman's bad side-ANY woman. He knew from experience.  
  
Diana continued to put away foodstuffs. She inquired politely, "How was Lois and everything?"  
  
"Fine, she's fine. And pregnant."  
  
Diana paused. . . . "Um, congratulations."  
  
"Thanks." [awkward pause. . . .]  
  
"You'll make a good dad, I think." She smiled. J'Onn chose that moment to walk into the kitchen.  
  
He said to Clark, "Congratulations on your expectation. It's a boy."  
  
"Oh thanks, ruin the surprise!" Clark responded.  
  
"My apologies. But you know you wanted a boy, so what's the real problem?"  
  
". . . True. This mind-reading thing is pretty creepy."  
  
"I know." His eyes smiled. He didn't smile, but his eyes did. ^_^ " I forgot something on Earth. I'll be back in a few hours."  
  
The Martian went to Diana, took the can of whipped cream that she was about to put in the fridge, and left the room. A voice called from the hall, "I'm taking your jet, Diana. I know you have no objections."  
  
"Okay then," she replied. It really was creepy the way he could get inside your head. "Superman, did that seem a little. . . . VAGUE to you?"  
  
"No more than usual." They had finished putting away the groceries and Clark changed the radio station to KROQ. "I think he is just developing his own agenda. It's cool. He's just getting used to Earth now, and that is a good thing."  
  
"Yes," she replied.  
  
The song "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down was introduced by Jed the Fish. Superman really likes that song. He likes 3 Doors Down. They had a Kryptonite song. That is hip.  
  
"So, how's YOUR life being going in 'Man's World,' Diana?"  
  
"Not too bad. Just getting used to attitudes of people. Themyscira is a place of beauty, wonder, and mutual friendship. People here are always trying to prove something, and they forget what is really important."  
  
"That's true. I see it a lot myself. Everyone competes with each other, and it isn't even friendly competition anymore. So many people take things too seriously. However, there are people that don't take things seriously enough," Superman added.  
  
"You aren't talking about Flash, now, are you?"  
  
"Of course not, Diana. I have no idea what you are talking about." He grinned at her, and she almost saw a glimpse of the little country boy in him.  
  
She laughed at the thought of him tipping cows. And shucking corn. And tossing hay bales. In blue and red spandex.  
  
"What's so funny?" He inquired curiously.  
  
Diana was really laughing hard now. ". . .N. .NoThInG." Her voice's pitch wavered as she laughed, and she had to grab hold of the counter to keep from falling over.  
  
Haha. Superman riding a tractor, cape billowing out behind him, and a stalk of wheat in his mouth. Ole MacDonald had a farm. . . .  
  
"EE, Iy, Ee, Iy OH!!!" she managed to get out as she collapsed onto one of the kitchen's barstools.  
  
Superman was giving her a funny look. "Am I missing something?" [haha look he stole one of Batman's lines!]  
  
Wonder Woman was winding down now, and as she wiped her eyes she said to him, "You. On a farm. Very funny."  
  
He blushed. "What brought that to mind?"  
  
Diana rested her head on her hand, leaning her elbow on the bar. "That smile you gave me. It just . . . looks so open. And reminded me of how simple your life was . . . and how trusting you are."  
  
Her hair trickled down her back as she spoke and her eyes looked downcast at the floor. She continued, "You're just so different . . . " **. . . from him . . .** she thought.  
  
Superman smiled again. "Thanks for the compliment," said as he began walking toward the door, passing Diana in the process. He stopped and looked back over his shoulder at her. For once, the Princess of Themyscira looked very small and very insecure. She was separated from Man's world by her naïvete, she was exiled from her homeland, and . . . there was something else that Clark just couldn't put his finger on. She just looked so . . . lost.  
  
Diana felt a large, warm hand on her shoulder, but she didn't stop looking at the ground.  
  
Superman gave her a comforting squeeze. "I-if you ever need anything, Diana, I'm always around. See you later."  
  
And with that the Man of Steel left Diana to her thoughts.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE, IN AN ELEVATOR SOMEWHERE ON EARTH  
  
One of the most intriguing things J'Onn noticed was the pungent smell of Cherry Blossom shampoo within the orange streaked mane of his Onna. He buried his face deeper into her hair as she did . . . interesting . . . things with his neck. He tried to fight it, being a widower and missing his children. But they had been gone for so long, and try as they might, his friends in the Justice League just couldn't give him the kind of love he needed most. And this feeling was just so . . . exquisite.  
  
"Onna . . ." her name rolled off his tongue. "We've only just met. I . . .I--"  
  
"I know," she smiled up at him and he was a little disappointed that she had stopped. "But it okie . . . yo fast learner."  
  
J'Onn would have smiled, but Onna's mouth and hands suddenly went back to work before he could. In a series of caresses and hickies, the little AZN mama pushed him to the edge of the lift, the Martian Mexican's back against the wall and his front against a very eager and voluptuous woman. She raised her head again and looked through the dark lenses of his glasses into his eyes.  
  
"Kiss me, prease," she breathed.  
  
How could he refuse? Taking hold of the back of her head with one hand and the other on her hip, he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed back with fervor, her arms wrapping around his back (one strayed down to his butt).  
  
J'Onn stopped when he felt a pinch. "But . . . but, Onna . . . I barely know you and--"  
  
"My name is Onna Kitsune," she said between more kisses. "I'm twenty- tsuree," kiss kiss, "and I'm an underwear model." Another kiss. "I like long walks on the beach," kiss kiss kiss, "romantic candle-light dinners," a nice big smooch, "and you," and with that she almost sucked all air out of him with the last kiss.  
  
BING!  
  
The elevator door opened, revealing the unlikely couple in a very . . . er . . . awkward position. J'Onn suddenly felt many pairs of eyes on him, and his face turned a nice fuschia.  
  
"Onna! Where have ya'll been?!" a buxom blonde wearing frilly lace knickers ran up to them. "Ya'lls an hour late for ya photoshoot!"  
  
"Sorry, Starr," Onna took off her shirt, revealing the similarly lacy and scandalous bra she was wearing. "I lost tracka di time."  
  
"Whatevuh, dahlin'" Starr brushed it aside, her attention obviously elsewhere. "Who IS this sexy beefcake?" she pointed to J'Onn.  
  
"Oh, a dis is . . . ah . . . J'O--"  
  
"Juan," J'Onn cut in smoothly. "Juan ElVerde."  
  
"Charmed," Starr started to saunter over to him, but stopped when he saw Onna's glare.  
  
"Ladies! Ladies!" a scrawny, but well-dressed, man came rushing up to them. He had a pastel blue cashmere sweater tied around his neck and definitely designer pants. "Oh, there you are, Onna. We've been searching to high heavens for you. What on Earth happened to your hair?! You've messed it all up! I just don't know what I'm going to do with you . . . you know you're late for your--" took one look at J'Onn and completely lost his train of thought. "Hellooo! Who do we have here?"  
  
"Dis is my BOYFRIEND, Mista Jack-san," Onna said rather protectively. "His name is Juan ElVerde."  
  
"Wait!" Mr. Jackson snapped his fingers, obviously signifying an idea. "Forget about changing your hair, Onna . . . it's got that tousled look, and that's just what we need here!" The man waved his hands in the air excitedly. "Mr. ElVerde, have you ever been in a catalogue before?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE KITCHEN  
  
Diana left the kitchen.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DIANA'S BEDROOM  
  
And went to her room.  
  
She turned on the videophone again. This piece of helpful technology had been constructed by Hawkgirl [as she was so apt with her Thanagarian technology; think mace!] and was delivered to the island with Meera's assistance [sp? Hey, Aquaman's wife]. Hawkgirl would have delivered the package herself, but she had an urgent crisis in Midway to attend to. So, one of Meera's mermaid handmaidens delivered the package. With lots of batteries. Environmentally friendly batteries. Hey, I know they don't exist, but neither do Hawkpeople. . . .  
  
BEEP BEEP  
  
"Mother?"  
  
"Yes, my daughter?"  
  
"I just wanted to talk to you again. I miss home. I am lonely here. It is so different from what I was used to, but I think I am beginning to adapt."  
  
"This is good, Diana. It would not be healthy to cling to a place you can see no longer."  
  
"I know, but it would be nice, wouldn't it?" Wonder Woman's voice grew a tad plaintive.  
  
"Yes, dear. But you must let go of things that no longer belong to you."  
  
"Yes my queen. I see you are busy."  
  
"This is true. I am busy. I must go now. Farewell."  
  
"Farewell, your majesty." Diana's spirits sunk a little lower with the cold formality of her mother's words. If only she could feel Themysciran sand between her toes. Maybe then she could be at peace with the demons raging inside her.  
  
Demons. . . . A bit ridiculous that the fair and happy princess of a peaceful land should have DEMONS to call her own. But a Man's World brings a world of Man problems. Batman confided in her, showed her he trusted her, and hadn't really talked to her since. Superman was always restrained around her, never permitting his leadership position to be something more. Superman was warmth and light, Batman, icy darkness. Ah well. Nothing much she could do about it now.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Diana, it's me. I'm back," said a flustered sounding Hawkgirl.  
  
"Welcome welcome! Come on in!" Diana smiled as her super sister walked in.  
  
Hawkgirl's feathers were a tad rumpled from her extended flight. "Sorry I've been gone so long. I had some thinking to sort out. And I have actually been in the Watchtower for a while now."  
  
"Oh really? I didn't even realize."  
  
"Yeah. I grabbed some fishsticks in the kitchen though. I was pretty hungry after all that time in the air. Then I slept for a couple hours."  
  
"Are you alright? All that flying, you may have strained something," said a concerned Diana as she sat on her bed.  
  
"I'm fine. My wings are made of strong stuff. So, did I miss anything?" asked the bird woman, in a strangely mischievous and girly tone.  
  
"Quite a bit, actually. Superman's wife is pregnant. J'Onn said it was a boy."  
  
"Oh really?" Hawkgirl asked as she flounced onto the room's sofa. "Well that's interesting. I wonder what kind of father he'll be. Probably one of those stereotypical American dads that take their sons fishing, and teach them how to play catch and whatever." Hawkgirl laughed at the thought.  
  
Diana smiled and added, "And it seems that J'Onn himself has made up some sort of human persona. He started it when we were buying groceries, and it seems that he made a friend. I think he's with her right now. I haven't seen him in a while. . . ."  
  
Hawkgirl grimaced and commented, " I never want to think of J'Onn getting his groove on. Imagine the children: Red Planet and Blue Planet, my goodness the kids would be purple!"  
  
Diana quirked an eyebrow, "Right. . . . ."  
  
"So, Miss Amazon, how's the *groove* been with you?"  
  
"HAWKGIRL!!"  
  
"No really! This is girl talk time, or some such nonsense. Hey, that one night, even I got some action!"  
  
"Great Hera, are you serious? Who with?!?!" the Amazon exclaimed.  
  
"I can't remember. . . . So I have been listing them in my mind to see who it was."  
  
"And. . . .?" inquired Diana as Hawkgirl began preening her feathers.  
  
"Well, Superman was busy placating his wife, . . ."  
  
"Batman was with me."  
  
"Hahaha. All night?" questioned Hawkgirl.  
  
"Oh yeah. All night."  
  
"Okay, that leaves GL, Flash, and since we know now that he can do kinky stuff like that, J'Onn."  
  
"Great. Good luck with that, Hawkgirl."  
  
"Yeah, thanks. I'm going back to bed. Later, Diana."  
  
"Uh, later!" Diana said as the door slid shut behind the retreating wings of her only female compatriot in the League. Diana flopped down on her bed, giving a sigh of relief that she wasn't the only screwed-up person in the space station.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ FLASH'S ROOM  
  
*thud*  
  
Flash was slowly banging his head against the wall. Repeatedly. And it was starting to hurt.  
  
*thud* . . . . *thud thud*  
  
*THU-- * "OW! That kinda hurt. . . ."  
  
He grimaced and stopped the banging, although the pain didn't stop at all. He stepped back, rubbing his forehead gingerly. Slightly wobbly, he plopped himself on his bed, thinking . . . for once.  
  
**I should really make my bed more often . . . not that anyone's here to see it. [mental sigh] Man, why'd GL have to go and tell me that?** A little voice was reminding him that he had ASKED, but he chose to ignore it. **I mean, it's not like I didn't kind of KNOW already, what with all those little glances and snappy lines to each other and whatever. But still . . . now I can't . . . DO . . . anything about my feel--um, impulses. I know I should be happy for the guy. Dude, they've been friends forever, at least from what I've heard. It makes sense . . . I guess. But really . . . dammit, why does heartache have to HURT SO GODDAMN MUCH?!! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET ATTACHED THIS WAY! I'M SUPPOSED TO FLIRT *A LOT,* GET SOME PHONE NUMBERS, AND GET. OVER. IT!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**  
  
He clasped his head in his hands, trying to rub away the moistness he felt under his mask. Earth's reflected glow seemed to single him out in the dark room, his crimson form huddled over in the pain of unrequited devotion.  
  
He promptly slapped himself out of it. The Flash couldn't be moping about! He's the Flash! He's supposed to be the happy one! People needed him. If only for his idiocy. And if he could do that much for his friends . . . and if she would only be a friend to him . . . then that was what he would do. Forever and a day. Forever and today.  
  
Flash didn't know how to deal with himself. His deep side was getting a little out of hand. So Flash did the only thing he could think of that was social, yet very brainless.  
  
Flash went online.  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: well wasn't that fun? So, insightful and whatnot, eh? Trust us, there IS a plot! WE SWEAR!!  
  
Ed: There is?  
  
Zippy: Of course.  
  
Chunks: We are just taking a roundabout way of getting there. BUT THERE IS A METHOD TO THE MADNESS!!!  
  
Dean P: No there isn't. You guys are just really twisted.  
  
Ein: =Squeak!!!=  
  
Chunks: It's okay that you don't get it, Dean. You like Marvel, remember? That clouds your vision. . .  
  
Zippy: you speak well, little grasshopper. Or was it, crazed fox?  
  
REVIEW US!!! ZIPPY LOVES YOU!!! LOVE AND PEACE!!!! More chappies coming soon! 


	9. Peru

Chapter 9: Peru.  
  
A/N: the AIM names used are REAL, and if you see them online, feel free to chat. [all real chatting done is not subject to censor laws, and is done at the IM'ers own risk. . . .] And oh yeah, this is DAY 5, if you have been counting with us. Let's hope that you have. Yes. And this chapter gets a bit random, cuz we figure the guys need to go fight something. . .and we are pretty tired. We don't know why. We just are.  
  
Disclaimer: We are stealing a little from Harry Potter #5, a little from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, a bunch of AOL software stuff, and Peru. Yes, the entire country. We apologize. We just had to, you know? WE HAD TO!! Oh yeah, we steal from Snoop Dogg too. LBC pride. And Pokèmon. Again. And Cowboy Bebop, because you weren't getting enough in your chapterly Ed'n'Ein doses. And Powerpuff Girls.  
  
Ein: ¡SQUEAK!  
  
-  
  
THE NEXT MORNING, after Flash had already been surfing the web for several hours..  
  
[***FlashMe141523 has entered Chat Room 102849692349023768***]  
  
[DianaMovesFast has left the room.]  
  
FlashMe141523: Hey girls!  
  
Hyperflamingo43: you want to see my webcam?  
  
FlashMe141523: YES PLEASE.  
  
Hyperflamingo43: too bad.  
  
Chunkymunky241: geez, you guys are so lame. This sucks.  
  
[Chunkymunky241 has left the room.]  
  
FlashMe141523: Just you and me, hyper babe. . .  
  
[AngelWithMace has entered the room.]  
  
FlashMe141523: we should make the most of our time.  
  
AngelWithMace: what time?  
  
FlashMe141523: oh, hi. . .your royal hawkness. . . . .  
  
Hyperflamingo43: I like cheese.  
  
AngelWithMace: . . . um. . .  
  
FlashMe141523: lol rofl lmao lmfao. . .j/k.  
  
[GreenHotNSexy has entered the room.]  
  
GreenHotNSexy: what's the shizzle my nizzle?  
  
Hyperflamingo43: the izzle off the fizzle. yo mama in a bizzle bezizzle walmizzle.  
  
AngelWithMace: . . .  
  
FlashMe141523: come again?  
  
Hyperflamingo43: with the homizzles from the wezzizzle sidizzle.  
  
AngelWithMace: are you sure. . . .?  
  
GreenHotNSexy: shizzle.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DOCTOR'S OFFICE SOMEWHERE IN METROPOLIS  
  
"Mrs. Kent, the doctor will see you now," said a kindly nurse in her funky white outfit.  
  
Lois stood up and followed Nurse Carr, Snapper Carr's best friend's brother's sister's friend who knew this guy who was going with this girl, into the pre-natal care place area thingie.  
  
"Right over here, Examination Room 7. Just make yourself comfortable, the doctor will be along shortly."  
  
"Thank you," replied Lois. She sat on the examination bed, and was contemplating to herself when Doctor Carr [the girl who was going with the guy] walked in.  
  
"Hello, Lois. I hope everything is going well with you. All right, how far along are we?"  
  
"Almost two months."  
  
Doctor Carr proceeded to examine Lois, making sure her cholesterol and blood pressure levels were normal, white blood cell count was fine, and all that stuff that doctors do to make sure the lady and her baby are okay. When she finished, Lois left, but as she was walking back out through the waiting area, she noticed the television was on, and Snapper Carr's roguishly handsome face filled the screen.  
  
"Apparently there is an earthquake occurring in Moquegua, Peru at this VERY MOMENT. Seismologists do not understand what is causing this, as volcanic plate movement in the area seems to be inactive at this time. Pedro Carr is at the scene."  
  
The scene changed to show a man that looked like Snapper, only browner. "Hola Snapper, el terremoto aparece estar crescendo, y nosotros pensamos que lo es una resulta del . . . del . . . ¡PATO ENORME DETRÁS DE MÍ! ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡AAAAIIIIIIYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!. . . . .This is Pedro Carr, back to you, Snapper."  
  
Snapper looked confused. He then put a couple fingers up to his earpiece, and said, "THIS JUST IN: Pato Enorme means 'Giant Duck.' That is all. And now for waterskiing budgies."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER LIVING ROOM  
  
Diana made her way from the bathroom into the living room, where most of the Justice League was already conglobulated. She, Hawkgirl, Green Lantern, and Flash were grouped around Troop Leader Superman.  
  
"Okay Scouts, . . .er. . .guys. . .and girls. . . we need to go beat this duck. Beat it into the ground. Stay away from the bill; it can get pretty pointy. Be on your guard, because I have no idea how a duck got to be this big. Let's go to the Javelin."  
  
They filed down the corridor to the docking bay, and all proceeded to get into the ship. As they were putting on their safety belts, GL commented, "Hey, shouldn't we leave someone behind to watch the Watchtower?"  
  
Flash replied, "Nah, it'll be fine. No one is dumb enough to break into our place. . ."  
  
And with that, they were off to Peru!  
  
They arrived in Moquegua a short time later, but when they got out of their jet to confront the duck [it was a little obvious where it was], GL gave a start, and said confusedly, "That's a giant--"  
  
"--Psyduck!" finished Flash. "Dammit, where's the Martian when you need him? He has my Pikachu!"  
  
Superman merely quirked an eyebrow and the two ladies just looked at each other in bewilderment.  
  
Flash looked at the MAN OF STEEL like he was a stupid git. "Don't you know anything? You need an electric Pokèmon to counter Psyduck! Duh. . ."  
  
"Good to know," commented Hawkgirl. She smiled at the idea of Flash being smarter than ANYONE . . . granted, it was an unusual situation, but still. . .he had potential.  
  
Diana looked at the staring Hawkgirl and mouthed the words, "You think it was him?" and Hawkgirl could only shrug her shoulders, unsure. The door to the Javelin-7 was open, and the group could hear strains of the song "Tank," part of Superman's hip Japanese jazz collection. [FYI: that is the song that is in the opening credits of "Cowboy Bebop."]  
  
Diana said to no one, "Batman would know what to do if he were here . . ." **Hmm . . . Batman . . . mmm . . . Batman . . .**  
  
Superman agreed, adding, "He always has useful gadgets . . . and stuff . . ." **She's thinking about Bruce again, I know it. . .But I don't care! I am happily married! I shouldn't care . . .**  
  
Hawkgirl included her two bits, saying, "Yes. But maybe if we connect to a power line we could electrocute the duck . . ." **It has to be one of them. I doubt it was J'Onn, because I think I'd remember doing a guy that doesn't really have normal Earth man equipment. . .**  
  
"Yeah, that might work," said Flash. ** If I think about J'Onn really hard, will he hear me? J'Onn? J'ONN YOU BASTARD BRING ME PIKACHU. Charizard wouldn't harm a Psyduck, and God she looks hot. Peruvian sun is good to her . . . and Chancy is worse than useless. Damn, my feet are big. That explains things.**  
  
Green Lantern noticed that his teammates were looking a little spacey, so he shouted "COME ON" and leapt into the air, enshrouded in his green aura. The group broke from their thoughts, and the other three fliers joined GL in the air, while Flash ran on the ground below. They progressed to the large duck, and Superman yelled out, "FORMATION C!!"  
  
"Which one is that?" asked Diana.  
  
"Rookie . . ." muttered Green Lantern with a smile. He was fond of her, even if she was a bit of a ditz.  
  
Hawkgirl gave him a LOOK and said, "It means we wing it." [Haha. No pun intended. ^_^]  
  
"Oh. But I don't have wings . . ." commented Diana, which caused everyone in earshot to look at her incredulously.  
  
"Geez Diana, what are you? New?" GL's joking, guys. Watch out . . .  
  
Hawkgirl's eyes widened. ** OMG he's FLIRTING with her! On a mission. Crap. Batman's gonna kick his ass. I'M gonna kick his ass.**  
  
Flash tapped his foot impatiently as he stood at the foot of the towering duckie, and said "Okay guys, are we gonna beat this thing or not?"  
  
"PIKACHU!!!" yelled a squeaky little girl's voice from up above. Random.  
  
The four fliers looked across the sky and saw pastel pink, blue, and green dots. The one who yelled had little blonde pigtails. [Okay guys, if you don't get it by now, those are the Powerpuff girls.]  
  
Superman was confused. "Hey, I thought you guys only worked Townsville . . ."  
  
Buttercup yelled back, "Well someone has to cover your butts, slackers!"  
  
"You little punk! I oughta give you a nice big swirlie!" Flash yelled up to the group in the sky.  
  
"Flash, she's 4 years old . . ." Diana called down to him.  
  
"Well we can still whoop stuff when we need to!" retorted Blossom.  
  
"Which is more than we can say for you!" added the angry little green preschooler, Buttercup.  
  
Meanwhile, Bubbles was corralling her yellow monkey bunny creature thingie into electrocuting the large yellow duckie platypus looking thingie. Ah, Bubbles. And the locals were looking a bit frightened of the superhero smackdown that was about to commence.  
  
A very sexy local named Jaime Bohl said, "Hey, could you guys try to stop the Pato. . . ¿por favor?"  
  
The DC superpals stopped trading insults with the not-yet-school-aged girls long enough to look down, realize they were being a bit dumb, and assumed positions around the duck thing. Flash ran around the fowl, trying not to trip on the pieces of broken adobe lying about. Psyduck stopped his frantic waddling [which caused the earthquake!] to hold his head in his hands and yell, "DIZZY." At least, that's what we think he did because we don't really watch the show. Chunks' sister just collects the cards.  
  
Well, in the end, the day was saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls and Bubbles' growing obsession with Japanese cartoons. Pikachu electrocuted Psyduck, Superman and Wonder Woman retrieved Peruvians from under the rubble, GL used his ring to help rebuild what buildings he could, Hawkgirl used her kitchen skillz to cook the really big duck, even though she felt really bad about doing that to a BIRD[-like thing]and Flash caught up on his Spanish. . . pick-up lines. Then the whole group handed out bits of roasted duck to as many of the populace as they could.  
  
Then, when all the duck was given out and there was none left for them, the Justice League bid adieu to the small girls and went back to the Watchtower, where they ate more fishsticks. They really like them, what can we say. . .  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE:  
  
"Mr. ElVerde, can you just remove your pants?"  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: So. . . how you like THEM apples? Geez, you guys must be pissed at us! We are tinkering with all the stuff that is supposed to be held sacred, and we LIKE it.  
  
Yeah, we like ripped off how many things in this chapter? Jeez, you'd think someone would have sued us by now . . . We really hope they don't, cuz we don't have that much money [and what we have we would like to keep and use at the Anime Expo this Saturday] and we don't really mean anything by our stealing. We DO try to give credit where credit is due, however. So if we stole from you, and didn't give you credit, TELL US, and we will decide if you are worthy enough to be mentioned. Or if you are lying. Good plan. AND NOW: the list of which anime guys we prefer!  
  
Zippy: VASH!!!, Gohan, SPIKE, Batman (not anime but whatevuh), and the tall dark and handsome AOSHI!!! I love them all. PLUS: honorable mention to: Trunks, Knives, Legato, and everyone that Chunks mentions.  
  
Chunks: Wolfwood, Sanosuke, Vegeta, Miroku, InuYasha, Gene Starwind, Brad Hunter, Irvine, Kyoji Kasshu, Domon Kasshu, and so many others that I can't remember them all!!!!!!!  
  
Wow, can you imagine if you had all those guys in a room together? THEY'D KILL EACH OTHER. Or get really, really drunk together. Whatever. Anyway, we had fun with this chapter here, especially with all the plagiarism. Plagiarism is fun. So if you like what we've been doing so far, TELL US! Because there seems to be a shortage of responsive reviewers around here . . . and we don't work charity, people.  
  
Anyway, until next time, ZIPPY LOVES YOU ALL. [but only until next time . . .]  
  
Ed and Ein are squeaking. Hey, it's a theme. Go with it.  
  
And Chunks is passed out on the floor with her Spanish dictionary.  
  
~¡¡REVIEW!!~ 


	10. Queer Eye for the Straight Alien

Chapter 10: Queer Eye for the "Straight" Alien.  
  
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A/N: you think you know, but you have NO idea. We don't either.  
  
Claimdiser: what?  
  
-  
  
-  
  
It was weird enough when Green Lantern walked into the living room naked, his bath towel abandoned somewhere back in the hall. It was even stranger when Hawkgirl pranced, we repeat, PRANCED, in behind him. Wearing a pink, SHORT, miniskirt. [Bad pink! Pink is bad!] But the worst thing came when Superman burst out, "Shut up! Carson is a genius!!" and started weeping like a small girl child.  
  
Batman quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"Holy drugged up Watchtower, Batman," muttered a disheveled J'Onn who was frantically pulling on his uniform briefs.  
  
"More like holy. . . . shit," the Dark Knight replied.  
  
"This show is so stupid, Supes," Flash drawled. "I don't even know why you watch it."  
  
"No it isn't! **sniff, sniff** Just because you are among the unfashionable doesn't make it a stupid thing to watch!" was Superman's muffled response from the fetal position.  
  
"I'd get up and fight you about that . . . but that would take effort," Flash said slowly, then promptly began dozing, even though Wonder Woman had just strutted by in a sheer black lace nightie, her rear end exactly at his eye level. And he did nothing. NOTHING. FLASH. DID NOTHING. Odd?  
  
J'Onn sighed as he pulled on his red suspenders. "They've been this way since I got back."  
  
Batman turned to him and asked, "When did you get back?"  
  
"About ten minutes ago. I was on Earth. Otherwise occupied."  
  
Diana was now SITTING in Superman's lap, coyly batting her eyelashes, but again her tricks were to no avail. He seemed completely unattracted to her. . . . And in the background Hawkgirl walked into a wall, gave a high pitched squeak of a giggle, and walked into the wall again.  
  
". . ." was the only response Batman could muster.  
  
GL walked by again, shaving cream dripping slightly off his face, still naked as a jaybird, with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his heel and trailing behind him.  
  
"I too am dumbfounded," commented J'Onn.  
  
Flash had now slipped into a catatonic state, with drool dribbling down his chin. Superman made a grimace, politely shoved Diana off his lap, and used a clean hanky to delicately wipe off the slime. "That's disgusting," he shuddered.  
  
Diana stood up in a huff and tried repositioning her breasts, as they had begun to fall out of her top in all the excitement.  
  
J'Onn winced. "I've just seen more of Diana than I'd ever intended."  
  
Batman was silent.  
  
As GL continued walking about, penis first, like an African king (no offense to African kings; we just find amusement in this sexiness), Martian Manhunter and Batman went into the relatively calm kitchen.  
  
"Okay J'Onn, what's all this about? They weren't this weird when I last left them."  
  
"No. No they weren't. Something in the air?"  
  
Batman shook his head no. "That would affect us as well."  
  
J'onn pondered for a moment, then asked, "Something in the water, then?" Again, Batman shook his head. "The filtration system is far too advanced. Besides, that system is rigged with poison and tampering alarms. We would've known much earlier than now if it was the water."  
  
J'Onn seemed disheartened. He looked around the kitchen, orange eyes alighting on the refrigerator. "Perhaps it was something they ate."  
  
"Hmm . . . well do you have any idea what that might be?" inquired Space Detective Batman (now with retractable wings!).  
  
J'Onn opened cupboards and peered inside. "All these are unopened containers. Diana and I went shopping quite recently."  
  
"Yes, I remember." He rummaged through the fridge, pulling out various suspicious looking jars and Tupperware containers. A loud shriek from the living room made him stand up quickly, and he bumped his head on the inside of the fridge. "DAMMIT."  
  
After putting the jars on a nearby counter space, Batman hurried to the door to see what was wrong. "It's okay, J'Onn. Hawkgirl just discovered how to open a door. Hey, can you find something to put these jars in?"  
  
The Martian pulled out a paper bag from under the sink and started packing containers in it neatly. "Why am I doing this, Batman?"  
  
"I'm going to take it to my lab for analysis. I don't have the technology to do it up here." He picked up a bag and walked towards the hangar. Through the living room. The living room of death.  
  
Batman was blocked by a sultry-eyed Wonder Woman, who brushed up against him.  
  
He almost dropped the bag.  
  
Way to not be smooth, Bats. But it would be difficult to concentrate with Diana murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, wouldn't it? And popping out of her top.  
  
He hurriedly swerved around her, and would've made a quick getaway, but J'Onn grabbed his arm.  
  
"Take me with you."  
  
"Someone should stay and keep an eye on them."  
  
Green Lantern ran by yelling about Davy Jones' Locker, pursued by Hawkgirl asking "WHAT'S THAT???" and Superman screeching, "Give me back my boa!" Flash was still not moving. Okay, well he twitched.  
  
"Please," pleaded the Martian, his eyes beginning to dart frantically. "Don't leave me here . . . Not with them . . . Not alone . . ."  
  
A fluffy red feather floated down and landed on Batman's shoulder. "Fine. Come on."  
  
Diana pouted and straddled an arm of the couch as Batman pulled the Martian Manhunter towards his Batjet.  
  
"What is the hurry, Batman?"  
  
"I need a cold shower."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE BATCAVE  
  
J'Onn unpacked the bag of opened foodstuffs as Batman took the aforementioned cold shower. His eyes were drawn to an abnormally large penny in a crevice of the Batcave. It had to be at least fifty feet tall, and was strikingly clean and shiny. J'Onn didn't even have to ask why. He knew. And he wished he didn't.  
  
Bruce walked over to the waiting Martian, surprisingly with his mask off, although he was wearing the main components of his rubber uniform.  
  
"An odd display of trust, Batman."  
  
"Not like I can hide anything from you anyways."  
  
"Indeed. So, these . . . things." He waved a green hand over the bowls and jars.  
  
"Oh, yes. We can run them through my chemical analysis machine. It will compare the makeup of the food from the Watchtower to identical foods that have been approved by the FDA. Any foreign particles will be identified, and we can view the results on my really, really big screen. I have more than a million products chemically scanned into my computer."  
  
"Allow me to guess: Your BatScan?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER  
  
Hawkgirl held a permanent marker up to her nose and smiled. "It smells like happy. . ."  
  
Flash started to reach over and snatch the marker from her before she got high off the fumes, but in the end he decided that was taking decidedly too much effort and he slouched further into the couch. He closed his eyes to block out the sight of GL doing the "Funky Chicken Dance."  
  
Superman did a pirouette a little too quickly and slid off the dining room table.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BATCAVE, AGAIN  
  
"Normal. . . . Normal . . . . Disgusting, but normal. . . . I thought Superman was allergic to strawberries. Well, normal. . . . normal . . . Batman, I'm not reading anything unusual."  
  
"Keep looking. We still have the ham, the sauerkraut, and the freezer foods to go through."  
  
::sigh:: "Alright. The ham is normal. . . . sauerkraut normal. . . . ice cream, normal . . . stir fry, normal. . . . fishsticks nor-wait!"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER, AGAIN  
  
The phone rang. ("We screen. Zoom in on the answering machine!") Green Lantern picked it up, still in the buff. "Uhh. . . . hello?"  
  
"Hello. . . This is Lois. Is um. . . . Superman in?"  
  
"Umm . . . in a manner of speaking. Actually, he's starting to be a little out. I can't find my toes."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"One moment, please, while our operators connect you to the nearest superhero." He put the phone down on the counter and yelled. Hawkgirl, after some bumps, wrong turns, and minor epiphanies, made her way over and picked up the phone.  
  
"=giggle giggle="  
  
"Superman?"  
  
"No, you silly! I'm a GIRL!"  
  
"I need to talk to SUPERMAN."  
  
"He's busy right now."  
  
"What on EARTH could he be doing that is more important than listening to what I have to say?"  
  
"Umm. . . . well I think he would talk, but he's painting his nai--oh, he's signaling me. Umm, two words. First word, one syllable. . . Umm, Fall? Noose? Dead? Fish? Hang? OHHH OOHH I GOT IT!!! Okay wait, second word. Sky, ceiling, umm . . . stars? Space? Umm. . . ."  
  
"I NEED TO TALK TO SUPERMAN. PUT HIM ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!"  
  
"Oh! Up! Thanks, Flash! So that's . . . hang . . . up . . . Oh I get it! Hang up!"  
  
=Dial tone=  
  
The muscle below Lois's eye gave a dangerous twitch.  
  
Back in the Watchtower, Flash slapped his head. Slowly. "We're doomed."  
  
Hawkgirl giggled madly "I'm so good at this game! Let's play another. How about . . . umm . . . what?"  
  
Wonder Woman was draped over a divan. We don't know where it came from, but it was there. Just like her new corset and stockings. We don't ask.  
  
GL wandered over to her. "Nice garters."  
  
"Thanks. Nice. . . . never mind."  
  
"Nachos. I have a new mix CD. Have YOU seen my toes?"  
  
Superman was now braiding Hawkgirl's hair into two piggy tails. He wrapped the elastic around the end of one, and was about to start on the other.  
  
=EEEPP= =EEEPP= =EEEPP= =EEEPP?= =EEEPP=  
  
Red lights near the ceiling were flashing, piercing alarms were sounding, and Pious Cal was Throbbing. Everyone started leaning a bit to the side, but only slightly. A mechanical, woman's voice came over the intercom, "Danger. Danger. Orbit compromised. Orbit compromised. Losing altitude. Time to impact: four hours and twelve minutes."  
  
Flash perked up. "¿Qué qué?"  
  
GL blinked, looked down, and turned bright red. Difficult for a dark guy, but yeah. . . . He ducked behind the couch. No one was looking his way, so he grabbed a table cloth, wrapped it around himself, and sprinted to his quarters.  
  
Superman was shrieking, Diana was running around in circles, and Hawkgirl was now purposefully beating her head on the wall. It was pandemonium.  
  
Flash slowly ascended from the couch. "HEY!!! SHUT UP!!! We still have over four hours. And I am NOT spending my last moments listening to you all freak out."  
  
GL returned to the room, fully clothed in his spandex. "I still can't find my toes. . ."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BATCAVE  
  
"According to this report, these fishsticks have a diluted portion of the CIA's truth serum in the batter. You wouldn't notice it at first, but if you were to eat, say a lot of fishsticks, it might make you start acting funny. Perhaps loosen your inhibitions, or make you act in a way quite unlike your usual self."  
  
"I see, J'Onn. So, Diana loses modesty, Green Lantern loses his self control, Hawkgirl submits to that girlie girl that's in there, somewhere. Flash lacks motivation and energy, and Superman. . . ." Batman started to chuckle.  
  
J'Onn looked puzzled. "I do not understand. Why is his behaviour so amusing?"  
  
"Didn't you notice how feminine he was acting?"  
  
"Well yes, but I do not see why it is humourous."  
  
"Well, because he's just . . . well everyone always perceives him as being really, I don't know, manly. And so when he starts acting a little . . . um . . . gay. . ."  
  
"Oh. Your culture does not view homosexual males as masculine beings?"  
  
"Not typically. Well, not stereotypically." Batman looked down. He turned and started attaching his cape.  
  
"Oh. Those of us on Mars did not think to pry into someone's personal affairs like that. I did not realize humans did."  
  
"Well, it's just that, it's different. Humans don't react well to 'different.' In fact, they usually fear, and then attack the 'unknown' or 'different.' Genetic shortcoming, I suppose." Batman turned to the screen just in time to see warnings flashing.  
  
J'Onn's eyes widened. "The Watchtower is falling. It has less than two hours left in orbit."  
  
They ran to the Batjet.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER  
  
The Watchtower gave a shudder, and the five remaining leaguers were thrown off their feet. They had searched frantically every nook of their home for a hint of why they weren't able to resume orbit. Still, they couldn't find what was wrong. Superman, in a moment of genius, suggested that they signal Batman. Their communicators were jammed. Hawkgirl flounced to the hangar, but even though the fishstick effect was waning, she still wasn't able to open the large hangar doors. They were jammed too. GL even thought to mentally flag the Martian, but any time one of them tried, they got splitting headaches.  
  
They were stuck. They were all gonna die in about an hour and a half. Oh wait, never mind. That shudder meant that the Watchtower was now in a sharper angle of depreciation.  
  
"Contact with Earth's atmosphere in forty-seven seconds."  
  
Superman stood up, "Well, it's been great. I love you guys." There was only the faintest hint of a lisp as he swooped them all in a big bear hug.  
  
Now was the perfect time to panic. They huddled together, waiting for when they would be burnt up by ozone layer into crispity crunchity grossness. They saw the farther edges of the tower starting to burn.  
  
Diana shut her eyes, trying to relax.  
  
Her eyes jerked open when not one, but two male voices yelled out, moments before impact:  
  
"I SLEPT WITH HAWKGIRL!!!!"  
  
"WHAT?!?!?!"  
  
-  
  
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A/N: Whew, that took a while, didn't it? Hope you enjoyed it. We're not sure when we'll be able to get back together to brainstorm on this thing, but rest assured, we'll try. Here are a few of the things that were in our way of writing this chapter:  
  
Band  
  
WBA sucks  
  
Parental units  
  
AP classes  
  
Drugs  
  
Sickness  
  
Sleep  
  
Friend/enemy/unknown side issues  
  
Cheese  
  
Sims addiction  
  
So yeah. Busy-ness. But hey, we got out a chapter, didn't we? That's good, right? Yes. So enjoy, read it again, and review. Because you're cool like that. Well, you don't really have to read it again, it's just something to do. So you can laugh when you're at work and stuff. Or wherever you read this stuff.  
  
Zippy: Just stop. You're digging yourself into a deeper hole.  
  
Chunks: Shut up. I don't see you ever doing one of these things at the end of a chapter.  
  
Zippy: Yeah, well I typed most of this one.  
  
Chunks: But--but . . . but I help with a lot of the ideas.  
  
Zippy: **Rolls eyes** Tch. Yeah. Right. Help.  
  
Chunks: Shut up! Carson is a genius!!  
  
Ed: I found his toes!  
  
Zippy: Yeah, and Kyan is hot.  
  
Chunks: oh yeah. And well-groomed. Too bad he's gay . . .  
  
Zippy and Chunks: Kyan, why are you gay?!?!?!?! We want you!!!!  
  
Ein: =squeak=  
  
PS: If anyone has read through our story only recently, go back and read again, because we had to fix some issues. Parts missing and stuff. Damn technology. Damn FF.net making us get a different authorname. If you want to blame anything, blame them. This was all just fine before they made us change stuff . . . and put us on record for copying. We write it together, dammit! Of course it's duplicated! Gah!  
  
Okay, that's enough of that. Review and make us happy. 


	11. Love Sandwich

Chapter 10 -- Love Sandwich  
  
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A/N: and you're the meat, bitch! Gosh I hope nobody's offended by this. Haha. Yeah. Right. Because we care . . .  
  
Disclaimer: if you're hungry and you want something to eat, you don't want no low salad, or pastrami, or corn beef on rye, then I guess you better get the only thing that'll satisfy. Love Sandwich. Fernando and Mr. Belvedere in the hot tub. That's rockin'.  
  
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Hawkgirl kept screeching as Flash and Green Lantern LOOKED at each other.  
  
"You too, man? Geez, she really was plastered."  
  
"What? What are you talking about? I was confessing."  
  
"Well me too. She's been all confused about it, and I didn't wanna say anything, fearing for my life and all. Now that I KNOW I'm gonna die, I figure I might as well spill everything." Flash flashed a smile in Hawkgirl's direction.  
  
"I used to wet the bed. Until I was about seven," commented Superman sheepishly and with no trace of a lisp.  
  
"I used to eat my boogers."  
  
The other four just went "AWW, DIANA THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!"  
  
"What?!? I thought we were confessing."  
  
Just then, Martian Manhunter phased through the floor in a snazzy space suit and shouted, "Lantern, use your ring and get the station back into orbit."  
  
A candle lit above GL's head and he grinned. J'Onn grabbed him and they phased back through the floor (remember, all the doors are locked and stuff). Moments later the horrible falling sensation, as well as the shaking, halted. The windows now looked as if they were covered in a green tint. Like Diana's boogers.  
  
Their minds were starting to clear now, Diana pulling a blanket on to cover herself and Hawkgirl getting that fighting glint in her eye, despite the pink nightie.  
  
Well, they were safe, whatever that might mean. The alarm was still going off and informing everyone that this is NOT the correct angle for the Watchtower to be leaning.  
  
"Angle Incorrect. Angle Incorrect. Angle Incorrect." You get the picture. Nobody punched it, as nobody wanted another HAL on their hands. Yes.  
  
Superman slowly stood up. "What was wrong with us? How did this all happen, and how the heck were incapacitated enough to not stop all this?"  
  
Diana looked outside and said, "Maybe we should fix this first and ask questions later."  
  
Superman nodded and spoke to J'Onn telepathically. The Martian soon breezed in holding a space suit. Superman donned it and J'Onn helped him outside. Superman quickly flew to the aid of GL, who looked about to have an aneurysm. The Watchtower is pretty effing big here, people. Come on now.  
  
Flash looked around at people doing things, and he felt a wave of energy. So he ran around a bit, and then he knocked open a control panel and started redirecting wires. Doors started opening and closing randomly, but he was well on his way to fixing the lockdown situation. Once the hangar doors were working, the Batjet approached and landed.  
  
Batman walked into the living room and saw hurried activity. Flash was pulling off panels to find out what made the doors not work properly (things like that just bother him because they slow him down when he's trying to get somewhere), and Hawkgirl and Diana were busy putting things to rights in the kitchen and dining room. They were still in various articles of nightclothes. . . .  
  
Batman took in Wonder Woman's long legs leading up to a leather bustier, all in all a skankier outfit than anything EVER seen on her before, even though she does traipse about in the whole Star Spangled Underwear thing. And she was wearing porno heels (you know the ones I'm talking about here people. Those ones you see in a store window and they really have NO practical purpose. Damn those things are heavy have you ever even picked up a shoe? Frickin' . . . Chunks owns a black pair.) It was really, really slutty looking. And he tried to look away, but he just couldn't. He might never ever see it again. At least, not on her.  
  
But he managed to look away quickly enough so she didn't see him staring. She and Hawkgirl, after tidying up a quick bit, went as quickly as possible to their respective bedrooms. They came back fully clothed, and, in Hawkgirl's case, fully armed.  
  
Flash gave an 'eep!' and sat as far away from her as she could. Diana was talking to Hawkgirl quietly, while holding the wrist from which the mace dangled. Batman was checking the main computer and radioing the space suits to tell them how much further to move the tower. When they had it fairly close, he told them to get inside. He then programmed the burners to the precise angle necessary to retain orbit.  
  
Superman and Green Lantern were both exhausted, as they had to move the whole tower away from the Earth quite a bit. And J'Onn had a bit of a headache. His brain hurt.  
  
Hawkgirl's eyes were still blazing at both suitors, and the five boys were looking at her a bit warily. Yes, all five. She's very pissed off, and she has a weapon. That's like a woman driving while PMS'ing. It's just NOT GOOD.  
  
Wonder Woman spoke up, looking directly at Batman as she did so. "We need to talk, and right now. Everyone, SIT DOWN."  
  
Everyone sat down.  
  
Hawkgirl began. "For the past few days, I've been really pissed off at myself, because I got drunk and slept with someone and I can't remember who. But I guess now EVERYBODY knows." She gave a pointed look at Flash.  
  
Flash gave a panicked look and shouted, "Well he did it too! I guess. I really don't know. I'm confused."  
  
Gripping her mace tighter, Hawkgirl gave a slight laugh, "Well I knew about that."  
  
A light dawned in J'Onn's eyes. "Oh yes, you two were seeing each other at one point. But even I had no idea you two got THAT close."  
  
"Well we thought we'd keep it on the down low for a while, until things worked out. But they didn't," remarked GL a little sadly.  
  
Flash gasped, "You were seeing each other?"  
  
"Yeah, they were, but that was months ago. After the whole Joker thing," added Superman.  
  
"Did everyone know about this but me?"  
  
Batman chimed in, "Yes."  
  
"SO EXPLAIN YOURSELF, AND WHY YOU . . . er . . . we . . . well just explain something!!!" snarled Hawkgirl.  
  
"Can't I talk to you in private?" Flash pleaded.  
  
Her eyes flashed, but she nodded and walked down the hall into a sitting room, pulling Diana with her to act as mediator and witness. And chaperone??  
  
When the three had walked in the room (leaving Bats, Supes, GL, and MM in an awkward silence. Then GL turned on the TV, started watching "Legends of the Hidden Temple" and the other guys joined him on the couch watching it), Hawkgirl pushed Flash into an armchair and said, "Talk."  
  
Flash sighed. "Okay, so I had just left you passed out in your room. I went back to my room and went to sleep, but I woke up a few hours later, and I went to check on you. You DID have a ton to drink, and I wanted to make sure you hadn't . . . you know, like . . . choked or anything . . ."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* FLASHBACK (no pun intended . . . tee hee)  
  
Flash rose from his bed, a little cold within the metallic walls of his Watchtower bedroom. Pulling a robe over his boxers, he stepped out when the door whooshed open, walking down the hallway and scratching his head with a yawn. **Hope she didn't drown in her own barf or something . . .** he thought drowsily as he approached the door to Hawkgirl's room.  
  
He pushed the button for the intercom on her room. "Hawkgirl? How you doing in there?"  
  
="Nn . . . anyone get the license number of that truck?"=  
  
"That good, eh?" Flash smiled. "Are you gonna be all right?"  
  
="My head . . ."=  
  
". . . right . . . you don't sound too good to me," Flash quirked a brow and moved his hand toward the door. "I'm coming in, okay?"  
  
Ten minutes later, Flash realized that it was locked. "Ugh . . . should I try every combination? Does that ever even work?" he groaned.  
  
="2659"= Hawkgirl answered in a groggy, but much calmer voice than before.  
  
Flash punched the numbers in and the door slid open. "Wow. Thanks. What did I come in here for again?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ END FLASHBACK  
  
"So you let me in, and we talked for a little bit about Animaniacs and you didn't seem even a little tipsy. I thought that was odd . . ." his voice trailed off.  
  
"Yeah but anyways . . ." prompted Diana, who was leaning forward on an ottoman, VERY intrigued.  
  
Hawkgirl just leaned back further into the sofa, although she mildly relaxed her hold on her mace.  
  
Clearing his throat a little, Flash continued. "So then you, uh . . ."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BEGIN FLASHBACK AGAIN!  
  
". . . Yeah, and even though Yakko didn't hit all the countries in that song, you gotta give him props for naming all the ones that he--MMFF!"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ END FLASHBACK AGAIN!  
  
". . . you kissed me. And I was shocked, but I was like, oh wait, she IS still drunk. But you said, 'No, I'm feeling fine. I've just always wanted to do this. . . .' and I said 'Do what?' and you started taking off my pants. While normally I wouldn't object to such treatment, I figured you probably weren't thinking clearly. Or at all. So I tried to stop you, but you're really . . . forceful."  
  
He stopped for a second and stared at Hawkgirl. She started to blush, lowered her eyes, and asked, "Then what happened?"  
  
Flash sighed again. "Well see, I . . . I didn't really want to say no."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ ANOTHER FLASHBACK  
  
Kissing her back, Flash was vaguely aware of his boxers falling to the floor. He felt her hands wrapping around his waist, pulling the robe down to fall in a little terrycloth heap by the boxers. Feeling her kiss deepen, Flash circled his hands around her back and returned it. She kissed him lower, trailing down his neck while simultaneously placing his hands on the back of her tube topped crime-fighting uniform. Flash hesitated.  
  
"Y-you sure?"  
  
She gave him a look that said 'and you're not sure about this because . . .?'  
  
"Good point," he said, and buried his face into her hair as the uniform came off, they dropped to the bed, and her mask fell to reveal her hazy yet sharp green eyes.  
  
Inhaling her shampoo, Flash could only think, **I wanted you; I've always wanted you. Truth is, I'll always want you.**  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ END THIS OTHER FLASHBACK  
  
"Flash? Flash? Watchtower to Flash . . ." Wonder Woman waved her hand in front of his eyes.  
  
"Huh? Oh, what?" he blinked.  
  
"You were saying? About that night . . . and you didn't want to say no . . .?"  
  
"Oh. Oh yeah. And later on, when you had fallen asleep, I tucked you in, and left. I didn't want to bother you. You looked really peaceful . . . . And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life."  
  
Hawkgirl's eyes shot up and connected with Flash's.  
  
She remembered now. Dozens of images flittered through her mind. The deep red hair of the man beside her, the swift yet soft and near silent whisper of his breath on her skin, the birthmark he had near his left shoulder blade . . . she remembered a lot of things, but she mostly remembered how warm his chest felt when she was nestled in his arms, and how gentle was his breathing and how soothing was his heartbeat.  
  
Wonder Woman silently stood up and left. The other two didn't notice; they were too busy not saying anything at all. She entered the living room.  
  
"You ever notice that it's always the Blue Barracudas and the Red Jaguars in the final round?" Superman asked.  
  
GL tilted his head in curiosity. "Hey, now that you mention it . . ."  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: LET THE COUPLE WARS BEGIN! Yeah, we know that we're stretching things out by playing with Hawkgirl's heart here, but you can always review us and tell us which guy you want her to have. It's fun. And we get more reviews that way.  
  
Zippy: Dude, who cares who gets Hawkgirl. What about Diana?  
  
Chunks: You're just biased because you like the Bat.  
  
Zippy: So . . .?  
  
Chunks: Hmm . . . good point. He is very mmm . . .  
  
Zippy: Hey, you lay off my Batman!  
  
Chunks [wipes drool from face] Oh, um, right.  
  
Zippy: Well, since I obviously like Batman and Wonder Woman, which couple to you like?  
  
Chunks: Can't tell you that. That would give it all away!  
  
Zippy: Well fine then.  
  
Chunks: Besides, what about all those other Wonder Woman couples? Like Superman?  
  
Zippy: erm . . .  
  
Chunks: Exactly. 


	12. Who do you turn to?

Chapter 12: Who do you turn to?  
  
-  
  
A/N: man, this is like, intense, emotional, drama-filled stuff here. If you don't care for matters of the heart, you'd best skip ahead quite a bit because we've been feeling lovey-dovey (no you pervs, not like that! Eww. Being a lesbian would be way impractical, and possibly very stressful. Think of that time o' the month. Geez. . . .), and we figure, after a fairly traumatic event, the JL folks would probably be feeling that too.  
  
Nothing makes you think of life as much as death.  
  
Disclaimer: aww crap. You all know we don't own anything, right? I mean, we own all these original story ideas, and any original, non Cartoon Network/DC Comics characters, right? But other than that. . . . We have some nice shoes. And Chunks could probably whip up some moola. But not much. She'll probably just borrow from her sister again, anyways. The thirteen-year-old sister . . . So don't sue us. For any reason. All you're gonna get is hit in the face. (with what? We don't know. We'd try to be creative.)  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Hawkgirl left the small study looking a bit sedated, and she went off by herself to her bedchamber, shooing off a concerned Diana.  
  
It was getting rather late, so Superman said, "Why don't we all go get some sleep. We can figure out what caused the malfunction after we all start thinking clearly."  
  
GL narrowed his eyes when Flash walked into the room. Then he said, "Yes. We all know what happens when people get foolish and run into things without thinking clearly."  
  
Flash just sighed and walked back down the hall to his own bedroom.  
  
GL stared after him for a second, until the red costume faded from sight. Then the black garbed man went to his own room. Silently.  
  
Raising his eye ridges, J'Onn said, "Interesting. . . ."  
  
Diana smiled, said a brief goodnight, and stalked to her room without so much of a backwards glance.  
  
"Also interesting. . . ." commented J'Onn. "Superman, your turn."  
  
"Turn for what?"  
  
"To walk to your room. Everybody's doing it."  
  
"Batman isn't."  
  
"He's nocturnal."  
  
Superman looked like he really wanted to have a good comeback, but he couldn't think of one, so he too walked to his bedchamber.  
  
J'Onn turned his pupil-less stare to Batman. "I will be around, if you need something to distract you." Then he phased through the floor.  
  
**Distraction from what?** Batman thought.  
  
**Bruce, you don't think I'm that unobservant, do you?** came the Martian's response, telepathically of course.  
  
**No, but. . . . who do you think you would be 'distracting' me from?**  
  
**HER, of course.** said J'Onn. He then grew silent and left Batman staring out the windows.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE: IN GL'S ROOM  
  
He had changed into his nightclothes; spandex and rubber aren't too relaxing. Lantern sat on the edge of his bed, head hung low, knuckles white from clenching them in his grip of the mattress. If he were the crying sort, he would have needed tissues. As it was, his eyes were filled with an incomprehensible sorrow. Well, incomprehensible to those who have never felt such loss.  
  
He didn't know what to do, and for a black man, ex-Marine, and current world renowned superhero, not knowing AT ALL what to do came as a bit of a shock. Sure, their relationship had never been the easiest. 'The course of true love never did run smooth,' he would tell himself. But he reveled in her passion, and rejoiced in her forgiveness. He loved those times so much that it almost hurt just to remember them.  
  
He did not care for docile women. If he wanted a blindly obedient dog, he could go out and buy a damn spaniel anywhere. He wanted a WOMAN. Not just to share his bed, or even just his time. One to share his life, his heart, and his soul. He thought that woman would be Shayera. But, so many moons ago, she had left him. Not for any other man; such a thing would be beyond her morals.  
  
She felt caged. She had told him as such. Silly John, thinking he could tame the wildness in her; that he could fill that void that he saw in her eyes, after he pulled off that stupid mask. She asked that they remain friends, and he wanted to refuse such foolishness.  
  
But he was so in love that he would submit to just being 'friends.' Still, he'd never told anyone the depth of his feelings for Hawkgirl. There was that odd bathroom banter with Flash, and he suspected J'Onn knew (but wisely never said anything), but he really had no one to confide in.  
  
His emotions were intense. He'd been shocked when he heard of Hawkgirl's drunken carousing. Like most normal types, he had attempted to distract himself with an irreverent game show. It ended, he still hurt, and now he was all alone.  
  
He leaned over onto his pillow, and gathered the blanket around his body. Yes, he'd call her in the morning. She'd know what to do about this. She always knew. She was his teacher, after all. . . .  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEBBE AN HOUR LATER, WITH BATMAN  
  
Batman was still staring at the window. And slowly banging his head against it. He stopped, rewound J'Onn's words and some recent events in his head, and started banging against the window again.  
  
The computer in the wall behind him beeped. He turned, the data he'd requested now being spun onto a mini-disk. He opened a certain panel, and the disk was spit out into his palm. He closed it in a case, put it somewhere in his cloak (where, we don't know. No one ever bothered searching the cape, once they got it off his body. . . .), and then he stood, hands on his hips, looking very masculine and bewildered.  
  
"Batman?" a small voice asked, intruding on his thoughts.  
  
He turned, and there she was. Not in that scarcely covering ensemble of earlier in the evening, but in a Marines sweatshirt (borrowed once from GL for an odd reason, and never returned. . . .) and blue plaid pajama pants. She looked really. . . normal. Like your average, twenty-something woman. She even had her hair up in a messy bun.  
  
Her bare feet barely made noise as she glided over to him. She had grace, even without heels and a fancy getup. She stopped a few feet away from him, eyes questioning, and said again, in barely more than a whisper, "Bruce?"  
  
He turned from her, and she withdrew the hand that had almost reached out to him.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ HEY LOOK. TIME FOR SUPERMAN.  
  
Superman paced the length of his bedchamber, pondering. He really didn't know what to do, so he decided to take a nice, few hours long reprieve. He peeked out his door into the hall, saw that it was clear, and darted down another hall to the space deck. He slipped on a space suit (even he had some problems with the negative pressure of space) and flew off towards Metropolis. He landed on the balcony of his tenth story apartment, slid the door open, and walked in. Lois never locked it. It was too high up, and on the opposite side of the fire escapes, so there was never a real reason to, even though it was a large, almost courtyard-like balcony. He dropped the space suit on the floor, and was left in sweat pants and a "Daily Planet" shirt. He crept silently to the bedroom he and Lois shared, when he wasn't busy being a frenzied superhero.  
  
She was sleeping, though not completely soundly, her face turned to where his should have been. He walked lightly to her side, sat on the bed's edge, and put his hand over her mouth. He whispered, "Lois. . . . Lois, honey."  
  
Her eyes opened slowly, then flared open in fear, but settled down happily as he said, "Honey, it's me. Clark." He removed his hand and used it to brush a stray lock of her jet hair out of her face.  
  
"Clark, I was so worried!"  
  
"Worried? Why?"  
  
"Your alarm in the other room said that the Watchtower was malfunctioning. I didn't tell anyone, don't worry. I just didn't know if you were on there. . ."  
  
Clark's expression went from confused to sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Lois. I didn't know you knew about that. I should have called. . . .Yes, I was on it. But we fixed it, so obviously, I'm fine."  
  
She smiled in relief. "Get in bed. It's cold tonight."  
  
He stood and walked to his side of the bed, then crawled in next to her. He wrapped an arm protectively around her waist, and pulled her close.  
  
"Clark, your feet are freezing," she laughed, her worry transformed into joy at his return.  
  
"Mmhmm. . ." he murmured, threading her fingers with his.  
  
"Clark?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"How long are you staying?" she asked tentatively.  
  
"Just for tonight. I have to go back and find out what caused the system failure. I'll try to be back here as soon as I can."  
  
"Alright. . . ." she sighed and leaned her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat.  
  
[pause]  
  
"Clark?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Good thing, because I love you too."  
  
[pause]  
  
"You weren't planning on sleeping much, were you?" she asked.  
  
"Not really."  
  
"How nice." Lois' eyes twinkled as she turned to look up at him.  
  
He smiled gently, took her face in his hand, and kissed her lightly. No, sleep wasn't exactly a priority right now.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK AT THE RANC-- WATCHTOWER . . . .  
  
J'Onn swiveled in his chair in front of the monitor, tired of his FreeCell game. ** I wonder what Onna is doing . . . . right now. . . .**  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN A DIFFERENT PART OF THE WATCHTOWER  
  
"Did you need something, Wonder Woman?" Batman asked. It seemed a bit stupid to call her that, when she was quite obviously just trying to be a plain ole woman.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
Batman grimaced, though she couldn't see it. "About?"  
  
"Um . . . us."  
  
He knew she was going to say that. "I knew you were going to say that."  
  
"Then why did you even ask?" she demanded, as he turned to face her.  
  
"Because I'm not very good at this, . . ." he gestured wildly, "this, communication thing."  
  
"So I've noticed." Her smile was grim.  
  
"Well, what about us did you want to talk about?" he asked, lamely.  
  
Her eyebrows furrowed pensively. "I just wanted to know if I meant anything to you, or if I was just another girl, another night."  
  
HIS eyebrows raised. He hadn't expected her to come out and say it. And he wasn't quite sure how to respond. "You shouldn't mean anything."  
  
"I shouldn't? Great for me. But do I?"  
  
"I still don't know if I trust you."  
  
She looked as though she had been slapped, and took a few steps backwards. "Well I trusted you! More than I've trusted any other man, on this entire planet! But you still haven't answered my question. Do you care for me or not?"  
  
"Well, technically, yes, I do." He was really losing it.  
  
"Technically?!"  
  
"It's not that simple, Diana!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because. . . because. . . there's a lot of crazy things in my life right now. I don't want you to get hurt. I can't risk your heart or mine when there is so much else at stake."  
  
"Bull shit."  
  
"Excuse me?" he was a bit shocked. She never used this language, not even under fish-stick influence.  
  
"You can say all the nice things you want. I understand perfectly. I was a passing fancy, maybe a bit longer lasting than other dates, but you don't really love me. If you did, you wouldn't be making up all these crappy excuses over why we can't be together."  
  
He stood silently, stunned by truth and unable to say how much he wanted to protect her, keep her from the darkness, make her happy. He wanted to say how much he panicked at the thought of her losing her when the Watchtower was falling. Wait, he tried to say, I DO love you! But his voice wouldn't work and all he could do was open his mouth as she started to cry.  
  
"You know, not everyone is evil. We aren't all trying to get you."  
  
His lips moved, but no sound came out. Tears were streaming down her face now, making it hard for her to talk.  
  
"Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold," she cried, before turning around and briskly walking back to her quiet abode. She wrapped her arms around herself, but it was for self comfort, not warmth.  
  
Something warm trailed down Batman's cheek. First instinct said blood; he was a fighter after all. Realization that it was a tear jarred the Bat's emotions. He sat down hard in the nearest chair.  
  
**J'Onn? **  
  
**Yes, Bruce? **  
  
**Am I fucked up and cold? **  
  
**It would seem so. **  
  
** I didn't want to hurt her by saying something. **  
  
**Sometimes saying nothing cuts deeper. **  
  
Batman stood up slowly and looked sadly at where she had stood, only moments before. He then went to his own darkened bedroom, took off his cowl, and looked at himself in the mirror. "Way to screw up, Bruce."  
  
He donned black pajamas, slid under his covers, and tried to sleep.  
  
It wouldn't work. Nobody slept that night. A few doors down, Hawkgirl was tossing and turning, images flashing before closed eyes too fast to comprehend. Diana was staring stonily at her ceiling, having sworn to cry no more over 'that man,' and even Flash was having sharp twinges of guilt, or something akin to it.  
  
Maybe things would be better in the morning. Maybe.  
  
-  
  
-  
  
A/N: Chunks: Dude, Zippy, you HAVE to lay off that bad Nora Roberts stuff. It's junk food for your brain. Your brain's ass is getting fat.  
  
Zippy: Screw you.  
  
Chunks: We don't do that kind of thing. I thought we already discussed that. . .  
  
Zippy: . . . . .  
  
Ed: SQUEAK, YOU!  
  
Ein: =squeak= [translation: what do lesbians DO anyways?] 


End file.
